I can
My life till 8 years old seem so normal and average, but then divorce happened so unexpected. My mom married my step dad and my dad married my step mom that's 4 parents and not even 1/4 could not abuse me in one way or another, I have no break I have no where to go. My step mom hates me and I don't know why. She would always hit me and throw things at me for just being "there" and my dad watched saying it was my fault. Till one day I was sitting at the table drinking water because it helped fill my stomach a little after my step mom would make me watch my sibling eat there meals while I got nothing and I heard her coming down the hallway, I made sure not to look up from my phone so she couldn't make up a lie saying I rolled my eyes when I never disrespected her in any way, but still as I looked down she started calling me a brat and disrespectful and I looked up and she threw a plastic cup at me and left as if she wanted a reaction, and yelled at my dad saying I was a b* and she hit him really hard and we left for 3 weeks until one day my dad went back to grab his stuff and she accused him of choking her and he went to jail. I saw his face so lifeless on the mugshot and I broke down, I missed the old him. I blame myself for my dad being in jail to this day telling myself that if I never went and drank water that she wouldnt have yelled at me n then my dad, or that if I was dead that this wouldn't have happened, but is it my fault or the ptsd talking? It's not fair my dads in jail suffering from me
@Bubblymoods It sounds like your dad cares a lot for you, and that he became wise to her abuse before you guys left. I'm sorry you are going through this. Do you have a comfortable, safe place to stay while he is gone?
@ZeppelinsOverhead I have a lot going on it's trauma I have a long story to tell I have a home I struggle with anixety stress and of course getting my dad to understand me in the past I been through a bad realtonship it's romantically it's unhealthy for me it's so uncomortable of course I have a lot to say the little mermaid from Disney faves me relaxation happiness and sadness and I feel worse I have felt unloved and loved and what I went through was not my fault it hurts hope to hear from you soon
@dhabib The past can continue to complicate our lives for years. It can be difficult to cope with, even when the present is good. Is your present situation better than the one that left you with all this trauma and anxiety?
@ZeppelinsOverhead. What present situation and trauma and anxiety bothers me of course I don't like reliving things can you refresh my memory yes I need you I need to talk to you
@ZeppelinsOverhead I'm lonely I have no one at this time to the trauma of being sexually violated and physically abused and dosmetically threatened my recovery process what I been through I dealed with is awful it hurts
I been bullied I had a trauma hurting myself at 18 I cut myself
I can never explain my issues to my dad my dad would get constantly annoyed and angry with me he would think I'm borning
Obviously, I wasn't there so I really can't judge. But from what I read this is the ptsd talking. No child can be blamed for a parent going to jail. Do you know of any other children that are to blame for their parents going to jail? When you take a step back you know that's not logical. So it's the ptsd talking. But why would it say such things?
If you believe this thought, you feel weaker which allows other ptsd thoughts to flow in more easily. And feeling responsible even though you couldn't possibly be, is an attempt to gain some control over the situation. Children blame themselves often in situations where they were powerless. Because the powerless feeling is just too scary. And blaming yourself at least feels like a bit of control. But sometimes we are powerless and there's nothing we can do except weather the storm.
But you're not powerless anymore. You can tell a new story.
@LuckyDucky79 I have felt powerless it's awful it hurts I been threatened yelled at by my dad a lot and physically abused my teenage years and I was powerless with the police because I was scared and fearful full of anixety emotional and of course it bothered me my dad lied he said he didn't do anything he did and he also has thrown some of my stuff in my bedroom himself I'll when to reorganize clean everything I would be fearful scared and worse and sweating cry full of anixety my stress would get worse I have suffered hair loss and unable to focus I have been powerless it comes to bullying as well I got affected by a bully her name is Clarissa Elias
I been in bad romance bad relationships
I been physically emotionally verbally abused rejected lacked sleep
I hope we talk soon
@dhabib I'm very sorry to hear that happened to you. And being powerless to do anything against it is the worst feeling in the world. That and being blamed.
For me, it helps to know that if I was powerless then, I bear zero responsibility. And blaming me is completely illogical. Also, I survived and so did you and that's a very big accomplishment.
And now we do have power. We can retreat into ourselves or we can come here. And we can learn about our illness and get stronger. Those are choices we didn't have before.
@Bubblymoods
That sounds very hard. I am sorry to hear that this happened to you. Are you able to talk to your father's parole board if he has one?