My trauma from my Dad, step-mom, and my Dad's family is ruining my life.
My Dad and step-mom traumatized me at a young age because of their abuse and neglect towards me. For example, when I got sick one year I was locked against my will in my bedroom and only allowed to leave to use the bathroom. Another example was my Dad and step-mom forgetting about my 10th birthday and me ending up with a few gifts, a few family members, and a moldy cake while my little brother had his birthday weeks later and it was the complete opposite of mine. I eventually got a restraining order against my step-mom because of how abusive she was towards me and my Dad's family abandoned me and I haven't talked to a lot of them in over a decade. I can't seem to let go of this trauma and part of me wants to reach out and speak my mind but I don't think it will do any good. Part of me also wants to see if I can repair my relationship with my Dad but I don't know if it's worth it at all.
@ivoryGrapes5952
Hello, I'm sorry to hear you have been through so much abuse and neglect; it sounds like there is much more that has happened to you than you are letting on as well. It's terrible to hear you were confined to your bedroom against your will, and it is very saddening to me that your father and stepmother would treat you like that on your birthday. The fact that they treated your younger brother so much better and celebrated his birthday while ignoring you; that must have been so painful and difficult to go through. It makes sense that you eventually had to get a restraining order and are still coping with the abuse to this day.
Child abuse is difficult and lasts a long time with you; you may have not spoken to them in over a decade, but it's natural to remember the awful ways your caregivers treated you when growing up because it affects how you relate to others as an adult. It's hard to reach out and speak your mind when you're in that position; it's possible it may not do any good because people can be harsh and not understand what is happening because they've never had a similar experience. But if you do find someone you can trust and grow more comfortable with, I encourage you to talk if you're ready and share what's inside you, because you deserve someone who will listen to you and you ought not to be judged for the awful things others have committed against you. It's only up to you if you feel it's worth it to repair your relationship with your father; it sounds very complicated and that he may have not done enough for you anyhow. Regardless, this is a hard situation to be in and I'm wishing you the very best--you deserve compassion and care for the things you have gone through.
