Trying to accept,
I think I was 14 when my step dad started treating me differently. My family was always a little off I guess, my mom was an alcoholic and so was he, I was depressed I was lost and turned to drinking too since it was the easiest thing to reach for. I had no where to turn, it went on for about 2 years. I just remember feeling so lost, I remember thinking that I’d be dead by 18 and that’s 3 months from now. I also vividly remember thinking that I was so lucky to have a step dad like him, I remember wishing he was my real dad and I feel so sick and foolish for thinking that. It’s all mess now, or I guess it was from the very beginning but I’m happy it’s over, I keep trying to tell myself in safe now. I’ll never be who I was but maybe that’s okay, maybe somehow someday I can use my pain to empower me. But right now it’s still so heavy to carry, I still feel ashamed.
@pinkCoconut1588
Sweetheart @pinkCoconut1588 - was he bad to you?
With love from Helga.
Yes horrible:( and I thought it was all my fault because I was to scared to reach out for help, I was afraid and embarrassed. It feels like I’ve lived many lives, like there’s so many different “me’s”.
I struggled for a long time, but I’ve finally found the not so secret key to healing, self love!
its still very difficult some days but since I’ve decided to be my own friend, once I finally realized out of everyone in the world I myself should be the first person to show myself compassion and love things because a lot easier. Still very up and down but a lot easier and I truly feel like one day I can feel good and stronger after it all.
@pinkCoconut1588
Hello cocochanel 💛 (not sure if you remember this)
I am relieved to see you here, I had been very worried about you, I hope you are seeking help, its good you are trying to move ahead. Takes a while for wounds to heal. I hope you are safe now. Just wanted to give you a tight hug, if not okay the sentiment still stands, and let you know someone does care for you very much, even though we only got to talk twice. I do see your pain, and feel some of it. You are very strong for acknowledging what happened, and trying to move on. Keep going. Stay resilient.
My best wishes
With love
Flame
Your reply means a lot, thank you<3 and thank you for listening to me in the past and even for being worried. It took me so long to want to even try to empower myself in any way after those 2 years:( he’s gone and I’m safe now, which is a huge relief, just to have it over. I’m so thankful for people like you! Who reassured me through the way It may have not seemed like much but to me it meant eons this app is probably the only place I’ve felt safe with sharing, and also empowered by it. Couldn’t possibly thank you enough!:)
@pinkCoconut1588
Aww, reading the message, warmed my heart . Thank yourself :) for reaching out and opening up for help, it takes a lot of courage. I am very glad that you are safe now and far away from him and trying to make changes, do take one day at a time. Your strength is admirable, keep preserving!
I wish you healing and peace <3
With lots of love
Flame