soo apparently im a disgrace to female empowerment:(
It's funny how i can brave through times much tougher yet somehow this trivial incident left me so adversely affected....
My mother is abusive - both physically and emotionally - and, although most people are, im no stranger to the fact.
Our school is hosting its very first youth parliament and im so very proud to say that im a part of the core as the director of design:) mum ofc can't say the same for shr discouraged me every step of the way, going as far as talking to my teachers to forbid me from doing any extracurriculars so that i cud focus on my studies...
However, she's an extremely early sleeper so i dedicate the few hours till 12am to working on them which is how I've been able to keep up on my extracurriculars... She still thinks im studying after she sleeps, which has been the reason for many a beating:(
Despite her best attempts, the youth parliament session is on Wednesday and Thursday and im going.... Obv we're gonna be wearing Indian formals and as i was picking my outfit, she stormed in, insulting me. She proceeded to compare me with my cousins who are "far more successful than me" (they're not and anyway they have better parents, MOTHER), body shame me by calling me fat (she likes to say it js coz i have a larger bust and she knows im insecure abt it) and tell me im a disgrace to. Female empowerment and I'd be better off unaliving myself. And for some reason this encounter stung more than the others. She's said similar things to me before and i thought I'd gotten quite used to it... Apparently not:(
I love hobbies in general... I wanna try everything, so im the head of graphic design at our school newspaper, my best friend and i opened an *** org together to educate ppl abt stuff they'll use in the real world, and i publish a book of my poetry every year (a series im yet to tell my parents abt)...
Ugh im not sure whats going on with me... I mean 15 years of living with her abd i haven't learned a damned thing:( Maybe i feel unappreciated by mum... Idk her POV rlly so i dont wanna judge but like i js wanted to be a kid... And ik a lot of its not related to the stream i wanna take (PCM+CS) but i enjoy it and i get exposure so why cudnt she js support me for once? 🥺
@deetz
This is hard to read, and it's definitely hard for you to live with. But I want to say that even our parents aren't perfect. Sometimes there are things they can't overcome. They have their insecurities, and they're just people. You're doing a great job, honestly, and you're doing a great job in all of this. I hope you can keep your value from being affected by what she said and all the negativity. Hang in there, you deserve support, she just can't give it to you. That's her problem, not yours. Be yourself and be strong!
Update:
Soo apparently i have to go to school tomorrow to prep for the yp session
Which means im in a bit of a pickle... You see, our school declared a holiday tomorrow, and due to my upcoming exams (in a month), my mum has already decided to use all these holidays to force me to study A LOT.
Im already positive she's gonna be super mad when she finds out i have to go... But my reason for petrification rn isnt that she might beat me up or curse me out (for i already know that will happen), but it's bcoz she might not let me go...
Sneaking out isn't an option for I need one of my parents to drop me off and pick me up coz it's too long a walk.
I've worked rlly hard for this opportunity and I don't wanna let my teammates down... What if they kick me out? I'd be anguished! But idek how to ask her coz i already know what her response will be...