I can't seem to attach myself to anybody.
I dont trust people. at all. I act all nice and im funny and I love my friends I do, but I'm so scared to reach out, I can't reach out without it being initiated by them and then I mostly listen to them. its a problem with my father, I grew up with him screaming and chasing after me and my mother for no reason, you could genuinely say anything, ANYTHING, he didn't agree with and he'd go crazy. my therapist says I can't trust anybody and don't reach out because I just grew up like that. all my friends can trust and they trust me, I feel horrible for not being able to trust them back. I want to be more trusting but I also don't, I feel safe this way. but I also feel horrible about not being able to trust them. one of my friends is moving city's next year and another one of them is moving to a different school, I feel bad for not feeling bad but I just haven't become attached to them, and as much as I want to I also don't. I love them but I've only known them for less then a year, I shouldn't get attached it'll most likely only hurt me in the long run. what should I do? should I trust or not. if I should how, how do I trust people and get attached?
Hi, I'm sorry that a pattern lived in your childhood continues to affect your present, it is not easy. I think the problem revolves around the fear that trusting people is not the right thing to do, like it is something you may regret in the future. We don't really need to know someone perfectly to trust them, nor to be sure they will stay forever. Most of the time relationships are temporary, and not necessarily because people are bad but because over time we grow and change, and it happens that everyone's paths diverge. This doesn't mean that enjoying our relationships to the fullest isn't worth it. Relationships make us grow, they make us learn how to be good with others and they also teach us a lot about ourselves, it is not necessary to live them with fear. Because the main problem isn't getting attached to someone you don't know if they're going to stay in your life, it's more about how you handle the loss. So I say that yes, it is absolutely worth taking this path to be able to trust the people around you.
thank you very much for responding, I want to trust people and I want to work on it. it sucks that I can't trust people yet but I want too :)
Don't fully indulge take a step at a time
