If You Could Say One Thing To Your Perpetrator, What Would It Be?

I would say "i know you were hurting too and maybe couldn't help yourself, but you have caused me so much unnecessary pain and it makes me sad."

I would say "You could have at least offered me some clarity by apologizing sincerely. Instead of telling my friend to tell me that you said sorry while you're in a fit of laughter while I'm on the verge of a breakdown in the girls dressing room. Instead of you telling yours and my friends I made it all up just to get you kicked out of theatre. Why would I do that anyway? You were a very good friend of mine, I trusted you a lot but then you grabbed me on the stage in an inapproate way and I'm left with nothing but broken trust. Glad your last moments at our school was filled with my friend screaming at you after you told him I made it up."

I would tell my perpetrator:

"There is no reason for you to have done this to me. You chose this illegal action for three years' time yourself, when you did not have to. You never had to do harmful actions towards me, but you did. I still do not understand your actions, and why you chose to do them. Maybe you can look inside of yourself, and realize what you have done, on an erroneous basis. What you have done is unfair and violating. I do not know anybody else that this action has happened to. I strongly believe that you could have prevented to do those actions which you have chosen to take. There is no reason for you to do what you are doing."

Stop.

And maybe You were really hurting me.

Because I think those were some of the words I couldnt express while it was happening.

I would say that I hope they know what they did; how every bit of it was wrong, manipulative. How they groomed me and guilted me and told me that if I ever went public then either I'd be blamed or they'd kill themselves. How I was a child, not a woman, how they were pedophilic and harmful and sick. How every time I set a boundary they would break it, every time I tried to stop it they would push themselves on me, how they would tell me it was my fault this was happening. How every time they laid their hands on me I faked just so they'd stop touching me. How the first time I kissed someone else I felt like a liar when I told him I'd never kissed anyone before, how I felt sick that it was a lie at all, how I hated that my first had been them and their bad breath and their too-tight grip. How I hated it every moment of every day, how I still have nightmares about it, how I can't trust that they won't try it again some other time we are together, how I wish someone could touch me without feeling their hands on me instead, how I want to tell their girlfriend that they are a disgusting pedo freak. How I hate that I said no so many times and it still happened. How I hate that I had to make up excuses to keep them from cuddling me afterwards. How I hate that cuddling afterwards is ruined forever. How I hate that I am still ashamed about it, that I can't ruin their lives like they ruined mine, that I can't even tell my mom because I know she'd ask who. How I want to hate them but can't.

I would say I hate you! You made me a victim that has still not been able to cross over into being a survivor. I'd like to say you made me stronger but in reallity I'm not. I am scared 90% of the time, I still blame myself though i know it was your choices. I hate you because what you did shaped my entire life.

I would say,

I know you didn't know what you were doing, not really, but what you did to me changed me for the rest of my life and I can never go back to who I was before you turned me into this. I just want you to know that you have ruined my life and several years later I'm still picking up the pieces and trying to see how they fit together, so shame on you.

You don't stop popping into my dreams, they can be the happiest dreams, the worst dreams and you're always there. I dont know why, you haven't attacked in me in a year but somewhere deep inside im waiting for it to happen again

Oh god I'd say füûūq you! Bc of you I almost died! I thought I was worthless worse than the shèèîît under your nail! I was angry afraid broken damaged!

Bc of you God heard me and after ALL the damage you caused me after ALL the damage I caused myself to forget about you and what YOU did, when I was on the brink of ending it all he sent me an angel.

Bc of you and your actions he sent me someone who taught me how strong I was and am. He showed me how to fight back how to laugh again how to love but more importantly how to forgive. He told me I was not damaged or broken i was a survivor, a beautiful forgiving survivor.

Bc of you God gave me peace, love strength and self acceptance.

But if you EVER come near me or my family well then.....for your wellbeing DONT