Dissociation
Do you struggle with dissociation due to trauma? Please join me in this thread to discuss this topic and how it impacts your life.
@KristenHR
It's very likely that I do. There are a few messed up things in my life. As a young boy, my father told me, "I could have you taken away in the middle of the night." I also worked in Manhattan during September 11th. I tendered my resignation on September 13.
I believe the closest I come to me is writing.
@JeffWM
You might want to check out the Traumatic Experiences Community - there are several subforums on trauma. It might give you some extra support. You definitely are not alone.
@KristenHR
Thank you. I have come to terms with it, I think, for the most part. He was an angry man. I see such anger all around me: people that are angry for no real reason. It perplexes me.
@JeffWM
So glad you've come to terms with it. In my mind, when I see anger, I think of hurt or overwhelm. But I never know unless someone shares that with me. The best I can do is try to be a support by example - like a kind smile, saying hi, or even asking a question of how their day is going. That has helped me at times, so I try to pay it forward.
@JeffWM Anger is such a strong emotion. I have learned that behind anger usually is a lot of hurt. I'm glad you are opening up in the forums. I hope it brings you comfort. We are here for you.
I think I definitely struggle with disassociation from the trauma, sometimes I find myself completely numb when I think about it or have memories. I think I learned at a young age to block out all my feelings towards my sexual abuse because I wanted so badly just to feel normal. But I believe these emotions manifest themselves in a different way in my life which is not particularly good. I've been learning how to feel and deal with those feelings now. Sometimes I cry and then other times I fall back into old habits of just numbing myself and zoning out. There are some days even in mid conversation I disassociate and it may have nothing to do with the abuse as well
