Dissociative Identity Disorder
Some survivors of trauma develop dissociative disorders. Dissociation is a form of coping when the trauma becomes unbearable. It is a way the mind protects the person going through the trauma. There is a spectrum of dissociation that one can experience.
One of the things we see with repeated trauma that was perpetrated in childhood, is the splitting of the survivor?s personality into various parts that carry the trauma. At the far end of the spectrum of dissociation, is Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID).
Survivors with DID are likely to experience memory loss of current activities or events, sometimes hearing about things they did that they don?t remember doing. They may hear that they talked, dressed, or acted different during those times they don?t remember. Confusion due to the memory loss is likely to be a factor for these survivors. Some survivors with DID have psychotic-like symptoms, such as hearing voices. There may be suicidal ideation, significant depression, flashbacks, sleep disturbance with nightmares being likely. Some survivors turn to alcohol or drugs, or develop eating disorders as a result of their trauma.
If you dissociate, you are not alone. There are others who experience dissociation as a result of their trauma. There is help available as well. Finding a therapist who is trained in trauma therapy can be extremely helpful for recovery.
Therapist referrals can be found at the International Society for the Study of Trauma and Dissociation. https://www.isst-d.org/default.asp?contentID=18
You may seek a therapist trained in EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization & Reprocessing), a common tool used in treating trauma, at the EMDR Institute. https://www.emdr.com/find-a-clinician.html
Remember, you are not alone. There is help available, and there are listeners who are familiar with trauma issues.
Lucile,
My heart truly hurts for you. I can not imagine the torment. I also had an abusive childhood and suffered among the coping "skills" you listed for many years before I was strong enough to become proactive about my wellness. Of course comparison kills, and that goes ten-fold for mental illness I believe. I just wanted you to know that you are not alone in your ache and there are those who suffer alongside you, and want to talk about it! I am so glad you're receiving treatment and hope you reach that place of peace and acceptance your heart and psyche so deeply crave. I hope you have a lot of love in your life. Remember there are Listeners and other resources here for you 24 hours a day. I wish you all the best on your journey. I've struggled with a fractured sense of self, but of course that must not even be close to what you experience. If you'd ever like to talk, I personally invite you to PM me. Best wishes. <3
Me myself and I (A story about my dissociation)
There is the Me, the myself, and the I, all three sharing one body, soul and mind. MINE.
They follow no schedule, and usually them three live in harmony with one another, giving complete control to Myself, the stronger adult part of them all. The Myself is the most active part, is the part you see always, the part that represents ME and I. The part that connects all three, in what is an US. The Myself is the part that functions more properly, it?s the one that acts her age (24), the one that faces responsibilities, knows what she wants and faces everyday life.
The Me is a very young scared girl, she doesn?t know how to speak properly, sometimes she doesn?t speak at all. She likes to be in company, as well as being cuddled and talked to, she sometimes cries out of no reason. And loves going out In the garden, looking after her little cat, feeding the ducks and swinging in her favorite swing.
Whereas the I, is older and very angry, anxious and nervous. She gets annoyed and upset at the slightest of things, and prefers to stay alone doing her things without being bothered. She gets easily irritated and is quite rude. The I is angry with the world, with Myself and me. She feels as if no one understands her, and tends to be quite pessimistic.
The Myself, finds it usually difficult to share one body and one mind with the Me and the I, specially because they are so different from each other. And even if she manages and copes quite well most of the time, there are periods where she can?t. And finds herself forced to give space to the Me and the I, and let them be.
Every morning the Me and the I fight and argue wanting to be in control, and they try their best to find a way to convince Myself that she can have a day off, that it?s ok for her to let go. Myself is very stubborn, and never convinced. She tries to stay in control by meditating, grounding, and breathing. But sometimes nothing seems to work, instead she pushes them back so hard, ending up with no energy and with Me and I fighting over the body and mind, which causes the US (me, myself, I, my body and mind) to go in tilt. The US gets stuck not knowing which orders to follow nor what to do. And ends up in a complete chaos.
After a while, maybe hours, days. The parts shut down, reset, restart and go back to usual. Always finding a compromise, a way to collaborate all together, and try their best to lead what is considered to be a ?normal? life.
This is dear reader how US (me, myself, I, my body and mind) work and live together.
You have just described me perfectly. I thought I was the only one , it's hard being like this and trying to hold down a job.
You are definitely not alone. I know it feels like it especially when you don't have the opportunity to find a support group or other avenue to meet others with DID. Glad you found us here.
you are definelty not alone ... I know how hard it can sometimes get, but I know as well that we are all strong enough to overcome it and learn to live with it :)
Oh Broke, you are not alone at all, i understand this situation pretty well
Thank you for sharing what it's like for you. I'm so glad you posted!
We are so similar to you. It's me the host and the terrified 11 yr old who goes by the title of little girl. She has no name. We are coexistent coconscious and cofunctioning. She is incredibly sweet but incredibly frightened scared and wants to hide most of the time. She trusts almost no one except me and our cockatoo parrot girl Miss Fritzie. She's been rejected and puts up walls and hides most of the time. She never interferes with our job or other life activities except she goes hysterical terrorized panicked in dental and medical settings and in "intimate " situations. ( politely put) I try to protect her and make her feel safe and loved. We think other people are afraid of her. So she in self protective fashion has become leery of others. I've created a safe hidden place for her. Last night she emerged in terror during our hypnodontichypnotherapy dentistry. Luckily the hypnotherapy dentist has experience with handling DID patients like us.
Hi everyone! Do you think the tendency to give myself another name can be a sign of DID? For over ten years i've been using two names, but currently there are three names.
I experienced Cannabis induced psychosis from 6th march 2015 and psychiatrist gave me medicines for around three weeks. and now as i am on he ending of this treatment my dr and dp hasn't gone away completely. it is not that traumatic and on my face but there and scary. me and my life doesnt make sense to me. i am trying to keep going through out the day. but i am tired and afraid if i am going crazy. i am afraid to say this but this feeling were always there due to past trauma of emotional ..sexual..physical abuse as a child. I am afraid if i have DID. cause through out he day i am lost yet happy and laughing yet at night when i think about what i am experiencing i feel it is not happening to me. like right now i am wondering why am i even posting this here and did i experience all this ?? .I remebr always being in my thoughts a as a kid and always felt there were two sides of me happy humourous motivating hopefull side and scared and full of fear and anxiety experiemcing horror and feel that no one can dave me. not even any psychiatrist or counselor can help me any ways. what is all this. ? help.. if i have DID is it curable ?
Hi, I'm new here and wondering what the best way to get treatment for DiD is when there are no mental health services in your area.
Well the closest I can think of are the clergy and alternative medicine.
ugh my therapist told me that he thinks i have this...
and the another one says it's not that, he says that i have bpd.
my question is:
Can you both have BPD and DID ?
@okomglolwtf
Most individuals find success with those who specialize in DID/dissociative disorders. It is sometimes prudent to request a consult. The course of treatment under the current guidelines differs significantly. If he or she works primarily with clients who have have been appropriately evaluated, it will ease your mind. It is possible to exhibit symptoms of BPD that meet the diagnostic criteria. However, it may be exhibited through one (or more) aspects of one's internal structure. This is an extremely specialized field requiring competence in several techniques. It is very important to receive an accurate diagnosis. It does take time as there are many things must be considered.
I hope you find your answer soon. The therapeutic bond is so critical for anyone seeking support.
Hi everyone, I really don't know where to start, I'm 27 female, I was sexually, physically and mentally abused from the age of 3, I've struggled with eating disorders from the age of 7, self harmed since 11 and did drugs from the age of 9-24. After many suicide attempts I got sectioned at 23 and diagnosed with boarderline personality disorder, but I know there's more to it than that, my husband has noticed at night I sleep talk in a different voice and accent, I'm also noticing my thoughts change voices (if that makes sense) and I'm having regular black outs and huge deja vues, I'm scared to go to my doc to talk about in case I get sectioned again, am I going mad or was my diagnosis wrong and I have did? Any opinions would be greatly appreciated, thank you
Hi. There are sceptics who say DID isn't real and there's been talk of taking it out of the DSM. I assume DID remains in that book till today...?
@EarlyOnion it's real
@Sparky1 : Yes, I believe it is real. My late boyfriend had it.
It's just that these days, it really is hard to tell who really has it or who just self-diagnosed themselves. I stumbled across people (on other websites) who claim to have DID. Some are obviously faking it, especially teens who think having a disorder is cool (in a sense that they mistake DID as moods, like one 'alter' wants to go to school, while the 'host' prefers to stay home -- but the truth is just that they are contemplating school, that's all). And somehow they are super aware of what their many, many alters are doing. And co-consciousness seems to sound like a norm for them. I thought co-consciousness wasn't as easy as that...?
I'm just a bit worried that these fake ones make people take DID lightly, creating more sceptics as well. :(
I have a scenario-type question for either someone with DID or someone who knows a lot about it. Say a young teen had no history of trauma, but had diagnosed depression and anxiety. If they already had few friends and were trying to adjust to a new school, would suddenly going off their antidepressants (after only taking them semi-consistently on and off for a while) and becoming depressed again be enough to cause DID and alters?? Is an actual trauma NEEDED, or is major depression, anxiety & overall loneliness enough to cause alters to form? Also, would someone age 13-15 be too old to develop DID even if it could be developed this way?
I know its unlikely, but is it impossible?
Thanks!
@kaorisilva24
@kaorisilva24
Teen is too old for DID to begin. Approx 97-99% is caused by severe early childhood trauma before the age of 8. Some might say a little older, but defintely not teen. Though there are approx 1-3% cases where no trauma was idenitied (but that is not to say it didn't exist, only that it was not identified). My stats may be a little outdated, you can probably google for exact numbers, but I don't think it will be too far off from what I've mentioned.
I have heard of certain types of head injuries (such as casued from car accidents) to mimick similar symptoms, I don't know as much about that, but I have heard of that, so a head injury is another possiblity that can happen later in life, but its not necessarily DID, but does show similar symptoms.
If someone suddenly has alter and is DID that was not DID prior to being a teen there is the possiblity of unknown early childhood trauma before the age of 8 and it is actually possibly they were completely unware of it since denial is the main coping mechanism. That being the case then its very possible they may not have consciouly known about DID or the trauma until later in life when some other event triggers it and then they become aware of the DID. Often later major life events can shift a DID system, but DID wouldn't not be developed past those very early ages, but someone can become consciouly aware of DID at any point later in life if it began as a child and its very possible adn even likely that they would not have known about it before.
At the same time, there is also the issue of it almost being a trendy way to gain attention due to various media outles and that is very sad. First, because someone is lacking attention so much that they would feel the need to invent DID to gain attention. Secondly, because those who have it know the horrible things that they endured for them to be DID and I'm sure wouldn't wish that on anyone. This would be similar to someone faking an injury of sorts to gain attention.
That's what comes to mind not sure if I gave you enough specifics to asnwer all your questions, but hope it helps.
I think we have OSDD-1b, and it's so great to be able to find so many others that do too. <3 you all, you're all amazing -Emmy
@The0Vetoed0System
You're amazing too!! Nice to meet you and have you as part of the community.
@AstronomySkies
Thank you! It's nice to be part of it!
@The0Vetoed0System Hey - again :) So - I'm J - the host. We are a system of twelve. We have a co-host Logan who sometimes like to come in here too. We were diagnosed about a year and a half ago - I can't say this has been easy but it's been alittle better meeting other's with DID and has help so that we don't feel as alone - It's really nice meeting you and I hope to see you around
Take care
