Cycles Of Seeing What Sticks
The worst thing about PTSD, to me, is if youre someone who genuinely tries to find hope, to find ways of combating the depression and anxiety that comes, and you throw everything you can think of at it, you try to be open to trying new things to try to help, but ultimately you feel like things just don't work, whether out of impatience and this idea that you are beyond any help after nearly 20 years, or because you just don't feel like its working.
The exhaustion of fighting this for so long is probably worse than the experience itself.
It goes in cycles, I work myself up into believing if I just try harder, do more to combat it, I'll feel better, and when that doesn't work out, I sink down further.
@nicmidnight
I'm sure it's not about you trying harder.
It's exhausting .
It's very hard to contend with.
Please be gentle with yourself and don't lose hope 💜💕
Thank you for being vulnerable and sharing. I feel the heaviness in your tone, and I know the cycle you’re talking about very well.
I’m sorry you are going through this. PTSD can be so painful and difficult to cope with.
We are here for you.
In frustration and exhaustion I have sought quick fixes for the PTSD.
A friend said something to me that had a profound impact on my perspective: It’s trauma, not the flu. (It’s chronic, not short-term)
It has become my mantra when I sink into a depression, or become overwhelmed with anxiety/panic. It, for me personally, has helped me have compassion and love for myself and acknowledge my feelings & experiences as valid. For me, living with PTSD has been a journey of grieving.
I empathize with your experience. Through lived experience I can say that things can improve.
The journey can be exhausting. But you are not alone here.
All the best to you
Hey. I can relate. I think listening on how you feel at the moment and to continue being present. The past sucked and the future is unknown. You got to kind trying even when you don't want to.
