Has anyone else been called more mature for their age?
Hi all! This has been running throughout my mind as of late, so I just wanted too throw this all out there. Maybe it'll make me feel better. I've been called mature for my age, and an "old, wise soul" since I was very young.
I've been called mature by therapists, friends, family, psychiatrists, and many others. It's never been uncommon for me to hear that people have had more mature conversations with me than they have had with an adult much older than me.
I've overheard my parents, and family talking about how I've been acting like an adult since I was 15-16 due to my life experiences, the way I talk, the way I act, the way I think, and the way that I go about solving things. Honestly...I don't like it.
Although I'm aware it's meant as a compliment, it never has been to me because I know the reason as to why I'm more emotionally mature is due to traumatic experiences. I've been sexually abused, physically abused, emotionally abused, verbally abused, emotionally neglected, and physically neglected. I've had too grow up watching my mother suffer through medical issues, and have had to help her since I was a little girl at times as well.
When I say this, I don't mean that I'm "better" than others my age. Truthfully, I feel envious, and feel a bit of me break too see the "immaturity" of others my age because it serves as a reminder of what I should be like. It seems like a luxury to me. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I wish I didn't have to grow up so fast. It's made it so much harder for me to bond with people my age throughout my life. It's very lonely to feel like this.
Unfortunately, this has resulted in people using me as some form of...crutch? No matter whether they're older, or younger than me, I've always been told about how comforting I am, how maternal I am, and have people come to me for advice, or for a listening ear fairly often. I've come to the realization that being relied on as a caretaker growing up for the adults around me, and having to look after my younger siblings emotionally has led too this. It's made me feel as if I have too take care of everyone.
I'm an adult now, but I find myself reminiscing on what I should've been, and what I could've been like if all that happened to me hadn't happened. I know that I can't turn back time, but it still feels horrible knowing that I never got too experience being a kid. What hurts even more is knowing I'll never be able to.
@Blueturtle1111
It happens sometimes in kids who are around adults more.... or just responsible and analyzing types .... i was always told that i seemed more mature for my age ........ you can and should have fun and be silly as often as you can ...i now am told i do not act as old as i am because i chose not to conform and be myself.....
When a person is geared to be responsible and thinking things through it is very hard to fake stupidity that often fuels teen choices... or at least they claim ignorance when they get in trouble ........ hard to put yourself in those shoes.
Thank you for your advice/thought's, and for sharing your experience. It's greatly appreciated. I try to indulge in what is socially considered more "childish" things in hopes too heal my inner child, but I find it too be difficult. I can't quite find the words too describe it, but it's a strange feeling that I'm not used too. It's uncomfortable, and I struggle to feel...connected?
You've described my feelings well when it comes to having difficulties understanding the choices of others my age. Though I'm an adult(19 very soon), I'm young with of course means watching those my age make not the wisest decisions. As envious as I feel at times, it makes me happy (sometimes) that they get to experience that because it's important to. It's part of growing up, but it still hurts that I had to grow up so fast. I can't help but too be upset that I haven't gotten too experience that...unawareness?
I have issues verbally expressing this as I don't want too make it seem like I see myself as high and mighty. I hope this doesn't come off that way. Truth be told, I hate it because it stems from deep rooted trauma from various forms of abuse. Along with having to take care of others emotionally as a kid, it wasn't nice to have had to watch my friends when I was 16 spend money on little things, while I worried about financially taking care of my mom/siblings.
I've never minded, but I'd be lying if I said that it isn't draining to constantly being the one to hold, but not the one to be held if that makes sense.
@Blueturtle1111
I hope you take some comfort in there are others that KNOW what you are going through.... it is hard when we see others make choices and we stay silent so not to appear to parent them....
yes even trying to be childish to try to recapture something is hard because we miss the sense of wonderment and enjoyment others seem to have. It does feel lonely sometimes not being able to talk to peers because they do not get it. To some it may seem like we are bragging we are along farther in the maturity scale but we just have no reverse to where we can relate to where they are maturity wise.
Thank you for replying once more, it means a bunch. Yes, it's very difficult too watch others make bad choices while resisting the urge to parent them. Having been told I'm a maternal person, I struggle with attempting to parent others fairly often, especially since I'm typically the person many in my life go to for advice/comfort. I do take comfort in knowing I'm not alone. I forget that fact sometimes, so thank you for reminding me. Please know that you aren't alone in whatever you're going through as well ❤
I'm glad you understand why it's difficult to enjoy more child like things, or things others in my age range like to do. I wasn't quite sure how to word my thought's, and feeling's about why, but you just described it perfectly. It feels like I'm trying to reverse back to something that I can't go back to. It can be very lonely at times, but I'm coming to accept that it just is what it is, and am learning to cope with what I am now.
I'm grateful that you know I'm not attempting to brag. Thank you for being understanding ❤
