Hi I need help advice anything I'm going out my mind

Long story 

12 years ago I was in some kind of online relationship where I chatted to a guy for years, most often than not it was sexual like sending intimate videos and pictures, it progressed into exchanging numbers, he was quite possessive of me or so I thought, he'd call me up if I was going out ect. we eventually met each other for sex after about a year.. We'd only met 5 or 6 times but I was hooked, smitten. He dumped me, I was heartbroken. I begged him on text, calls and emails but he told me to go away, but send texts like 'sex' to bait me to reply he even had other women he was sleeping with call me names. I changed my number and went no contact. I started online dating a while later, meeting new people. Then I started getting messages on these dating apps from him, things like mine or you'll never get better than me, these were monthly messages from different accounts but he made sure I knew it was him. This went on for 2 years until I gave up dating sites. He contacted me on *** and was boasting how great his life was ect, still I never entertained him to meet him again. I eventually told him if I wanted to talk to him I'd come find him and deactivated ***. Silence for 4 years until 2022 I got an email from him, I put it to junk and deleted it. Then few weeks ago an email I didn't recognise with hi, so I replied back and he said a location we met, he said be civil, so I gave him benefit of doubt and met him for sex, he then started boasting about all the women he'd been seeing and calling us ***. I went home and didn't message him, he messaged me and said he had fun. Last week I asked him if he was coming to mine and he said yes asked me to send videos and my address.. Next morning I said u still coming over he said yes and he would be at mine at 3. He didn't turn up, I sent 3 messages, my last 1 saying you aren't coming are you? No reply. So sent an email with please don't contact me again. Next morning a message from him calling me a rat, I had mental health issues and should seek help. I don't know what I have done to him? Was it revenge because I kept refusing to meet him after he hurt me first time round.. I sent him another email on Sunday asking why he wanted my address if he wasn't planning on coming over, his reply was OK. Deleted my email account now. 

I feel so stupid to allow him to hurt me again it took me years to get over him first time round but second Time?  I need advice