I'm messed up 😞

@sociableBirch35

🥺

Please be gentle with yourself.

You've been through so much.

My heart goes out to you.

We can engage in sexual risky behaviour, because we are trying to claw back some of the control taken from us.

But it only leaves us more vulnerable.

More sad .

It's important to be honest in a relationship, and to work through things together.

You deserve to heal.

You did nothing wrong 💕💜

@sociableBirch35 

Hi there. First of all, I want to say that there is nothing wrong with you and that you are completely normal. You are not "messed up" at all. These difficult feelings are part of being human, and being human is often difficult; you are not alone. 

Also, thank you for being vulnerable today and sharing your experience, especially in an app such as 7Cups. In the future, people might read this, and you might help them indirectly letting them feel less alone in this world.

Finally, as you requested in your post, you want a perspective on your situation. Here is my perspective. Again, from my perspective, what you are going through is completely normal and human. I see you want to improve certain aspects of yourself, and you are aware of the aspects you want to improve, which is something to be commended. Learning to be vulnerable does take time and effort, though, and you are slowly getting there. I mean, look at you sharing your story online!! That is amazing, and that is being vulnerable. And you know what is funny? You sharing your story is a form of self-love. You showed up for yourself in a difficult period.

I am going to end this post of mine before I make it to long by saying the following.

We all have certain aspects or behaviours of ourselves that we want to change. Not only for ourselves but for the ones we love. And judging from your post, I might be wrong, though, you value love and close, deep connections and relationships instead of casual or risky sex. And you recognise this value. Now that you know what you value. What to do from here? You move in the direction that fits your values. Whether that be going to therapy, talking to someone on 7Cups or even just slowly opening up to your romantic partner. The important thing is to show up for yourself again and again. Be kind to yourself, which, trust me, I know is easier said than done because we can be so cruel to ourselves at times. But we still show up. 

So finishing up. Look back at the coping techniques or things you did that helped you to cope or move in the direction that fits your values. Maybe consider other coping techniques, such as therapy or journaling, even. Whatever floats your boat. Your journey won't be an easy one, and it will take work. But that is being human. And I hope all the best for your journey :)

Hello @sociableBirch35! 

I feel connected with your words. Maybe our situation is different but I know how vulnerable at times we find ourselves. It's not easy to allow being loved by others or self when the hurt was bigger. 

Sometimes the feeling that it isn't for us or we don't deserve the happiness or love can be overwhelming and we kind of shut our mind to accept and realizing it. 

But being gentle and showing some self-compassion to ourselves is the way to get ourselves out from such situation. The earlier the better. Everyone deserves to love and get loved by. 

Darkness can't be erased by darkness itself, it can erased to light only. 

When we get the light then we realize that we needed it more than we thought or never thought of. 

Whatever you felt or feeling right now is completely valid. But your push towards that light would be meaningful in future.✨ 

All the best  👍