I need someone’s advice I think. Also, probably may be triggering for some? No graphic descriptions of anything btw.

Not my first language, so sorry for any mistakes.

Kind of a weird situation, I’m now living in a country that invaded mine, all of my childhood I’ve been between 3 different governments and 3 different sides, before and during the conflict. I’ve seen some upsetting stuff, was under shellings, and now all of the sudden I’m on the wrong side. Living in a country that did that to mine, paying money here, participating unwillingly in some events.

Other teens are usually mention my ethnicity or story, because someone always find time to spill some secrets and rumours, and as you probably thought, yeah not in a good way. Even my teachers are failing my grades and dissing my family in front of the whole class just because of who I am.

I’m trying to understand what’s the funny part in exploding cellophane bags in front of my balcony at the arts camp, or someone screaming «there’s something in front of the window, lie down» and then laughing, or calling me come slurs if we can call these words so. I don’t see anything goofy in making a person scared over something like that happening. Love pranks myself, but would never do things that they are doing.

It’s always my fault here if someone breaks something or spreads a rumour, I have good friends, that are really supportive, but sometimes they too have no literacy at some topics. I respect them too - everyone has the right to love their country, being patriotic is never bad. But I genuinely don’t understand why would someone be okay with nuking my relatives just for it all to end more quickly huh, or in joking about stuff and bringing up some characters in that or something, that’s a kid behaviour, and mind you, teens are known to be saying *** even if they don’t mean too, sometimes I accidentally say something horrible as well. But at like 15-18 you should know your tongue at least in public or with someone with a different backstory.

I don’t even know what to say to them in response anymore. And I feel like now after living through the both sides of the conflict, neither side would accept me fully. I love both people and cultures, but I want mine back, and both govs honestly are almost equally bad.

I won’t say any names, because I don’t want people arguing even more here. Crazy to know there are so many conflicts rn that people might not guess.

I was diagnosed with PTSD recently also, and would like someone more experienced or older to tell me some advice.

Sorry if that’s a lot and again sorry for mistakes.