Is this my fault or am I being dramatic?
trigger warning: r*pe, COCSA
I want to be clear that im safe now
I was eight years old when my twel year brother (at the time) assaulted me it continued until I was twelve but then I finally told my sister about it but ever since then I’ve been having nightmares about it, I can’t help but thinks it’s my fault for what happened, I mean I said yes every time he asked to do it and it felt painful but it also felt really good. Im ashamed and disgusted by how good I felt when it happened. I also hypersexual from it and I masterbate quit a lot which im not proud of, I know im a disgusting person and I can’t bring myself to look at myself in the mirror because I hate the person that I am for what I allowed happening to me
@Minkmyer8
I was six and my brother was 12. It went on for about five years. Remarkably, for one of those years, I was being molested at school as well as at home. Somehow, the police found out and the teacher was removed from the classroom, never to be seen again. No one ever found out what my brother did to me.
My mom told me, whatever bad thing that happened to me, I deserved. At the time, I didn't think my mom was capable of lying, therefore I thought it must be true. It became a deeply conditioned belief, and when bad things happened, I was overwhelmed by guilt.
Do you think I was responsible for the teacher’s, my brother’s or my mom's bad behavior? I also ended up with distorted sexual perceptions. Was that my fault? Why blame a child for saying yes, when saying no would not prevent the abuse, but only make it worse?
You did nothing wrong. I did nothing wrong. We've both been subjected to unnatural and tragic abuse, which had a profound impact on our sexuality.
There is no reason for guilt. The important thing now is healing. I would like to think that there would be no need for you to forgive yourself because you never judged yourself harshly, but if you're anything like me, self forgiveness can be extremely helpful.
No, it's not your fault. No, you're not being dramatic. It's time to heal. Therapy can really help.
Thank you for sharing your story,
I'm trying to heal from this and finally am getting the help I need but i know logically it wasn’t my fault but I can’t help but blame myself deep down, I haven’t gone to therapy but I have had someone who is willing to talk with me about it, that’s helped a lot
@Minkmyer8 I'm really sorry you're feeling this way. What happened was not your fault, and those confusing feelings don’t make you disgusting—they make you human. Healing takes time, and you deserve kindness and support.
Im feeling better, I’ve taken up some journaling which helps a lot and also practicing self forgiveness (which has been hard but worth it). I know healing is going to be hard but it’s all going to be worth it in the long run, especially for my mental health and relationships in the future
@Minkmyer8
Thanks for the update. I'm glad you're feeling better. You deserve to be happy and feel good about yourself.
I was molested but I'm scared to even talk about it because my mom doesn't believe me and I'm literally going crazy
I barely remember how Old I was I just know it was between 5 and 6 grade I didn't have any friends I had autism but it wasn't diagnosed yet anyway so I was outside and I was invited to a birthday party down the road because none of the persons friends showed up. I became friends and trusted him because again no friends. So I ended up staying the night when both parents allowed it that night was it wasn't good (trigger warning mentioning of substance and sa) so we got to his room and when his parents went to bed he first tried to get me to smoke a cigarette I wouldn't but then he tried getting me to drink alcohol again wouldn't budge then he corosed me into a yes when it came to *** his 🍆 and it's a night I wish I could forget I have a momentary flashback every time I hear the name which is bad cuz it's a common name I thought I'd share my story aswell and while yes you sead yes to the one who was assaulting you you were too young to understand and hense you did nothing wrong
