Lost
I write this in a state of confusion—not knowing exactly what happened or if there was even a problem. Just fragments, scattered and unclear, yet almost all of them feel heavy, unsettling. I never questioned the gaps in my memory, never wondered why the things that surface are only the ones that hurt. I never asked myself how I knew what I knew as a child, until now. And now, it’s confusing. And now, it’s scary. Did I burry something or someone under the rug. Why do I hate being touched. Why am I always worried and anxious. Why do I avoid eye contact. Why did I one day wake up and decide to cut my dad off after years of feeling unsettled and disturbed around him. Why can’t I remember.
@pinkMap4076 I'm sorry that you're going through such a hard time. Navigating trauma can be confusing and frightening. Wishing the best for you. 💗🌻🐾
@pinkMap4076
You know what I thought when I read your share? "They are going to be ok". I'm sure it doesn't feel like it right now. You're dealing with a lot of challenging thoughts and feelings. And of course those are overwhelming and leave you feeling lost. And that must be miserable. Frightening. Maybe even terrifying.
Do you trust yourself? You write that you have cut off your dad without fully knowing why. Isn't that amazing? There's part of you that's looking after you and I love that for you.
And you show so much courage in sharing this.
Dealing with trauma is so unbelievably painfu. And so unfair. You shouldn't have to be dealing with this. I wish I could spare you all of that. You are not alone. There are people who have travelled similar paths, who will be happy to hold you hand over the difficult bits. I wish you peace and happiness.
This is a tad too late, but thank you guys. Reading your replies made me feel seen. Thank you again.
