Poem from the book , Confessions From The Edge
Who Am I Without Trauma
Who am I without trauma?
It is a question that lingers, unsettling and profound. So much of my identity has been sculpted in response to pain—my habits, my silence, my way of seeing the world. If healing means to be free from those influences, I wonder who I become when the echoes of old wounds no longer direct my steps.
Does healing require me to outgrow my introversion? To stand at ease in spaces where people thrive on unpredictability and constant movement? I find comfort in stillness, in the quiet rhythm of my own company. Must I trade that comfort for a version of health that society defines as extroverted or socially engaged?
There is a particular kind of joy in the small, solitary pleasures that others may not understand—the soothing repetition of crocheting a sweater in summer, or the meditative calm of filling color into intricate lines. These moments do not shout of progress, yet they speak of peace. Am I to let them go simply because they do not align with the world’s image of growth?
Perhaps healing is not the act of reshaping myself to fit the social mold, but rather an unfolding of who I’ve always been beneath the layers of survival. Maybe it is the quiet permission to stay gentle, reflective, and inward-facing without apology.
To heal, then, may be less about becoming someone new and more about remembering who I was before pain became my compass.
Who am I without trauma?
Perhaps the answer lies not in reinvention, but in recognition.
@Adee758
Thank you for sharing this. It is such a powerful poem.
The parts that stuck with me was "quiet permission to stay gentle, reflective and inward-facing without apology", and "To heal, then, may be less about becoming someone new and more about remembering who i was before pain became my compass."
I always feel like when healing you end up a stronger verison of yourself having gone through it and made it out. It does make sense though that you are just remembering the you before pain was guiding you.
I will have to grab this book myself.
https://payhip.com/HEALWHILEREADING
You can find the book here
Yeah because that's what I really battle with as well and I saw a lot people who went through abuse especially sexual trying "come out of their shell of trauma " but was there a shell to come out of . Everyone doesn't have to live loud in order to prove their healing.
@Adee758
That is so true. I feel like it could come from the expectations from society and people around us. When healing sometimes we are told we need to feel this or do that and in reality there is no right way to heal and it is up to the person.
An realizing someone can have the same trauma but totally different trauma responses and will take totally different paths to attain healing so being careful about seeking community and learning . An knowing the difference between isolation and solitude, knowing your voice and being able to notice the subtle whispers of the enemy saying you havent healed because of such and such .
@Adee758
Finding community with shared experiences can be helpful though and could even led to healing. There is a fine line between isolation and solitude and finding that point is important. Solitude can be recharging, peaceful, and reflective. Isolation can counterproductive for healing process and filled with negative emotions. Knowing your voice is so important and i would say being able to tell where you are in your healing journey versus others. Also knowing what advice from other people might help you and what might not work on your path.