@Tinywhisper11

It's a beautiful poem, if I'm allowed to call something beautiful that expresses something so tragic. 

It feels wrong to call it beautiful, but it's a little window into your soul, and you're beautiful, and therefore the poem is also beautiful, and expressive, and haunting. 

Giant tiny hugs from me too!

@Tinywhisper11

Thank you for sharing this poem with us. As I was reading it I believed with each word including the title words that I read that this was written from your experience. And if it was entirely or even partially then it shows what I’ve always believed to be true if you’re brave and courageous enough to do it and that is if write from your experiences that’s the best written thing whether it’s a poem, a song, a book, whatever. 

And if any of this is written from your own experience which again I believe it is then not only am I deeply sad and so so so sorry but also feel for you very very much. 

Because I’ve been through some of these things and it still affects me sometimes. 

Fear, I had it when I was young about more than one thing. I’m not only talking about the fear of being judged and not accepted by anyone. That was there too. But there were other fears also, ones that as a child, gave me nightmares causing me to wake up at night crying. 

From childhood to I can’t pinpoint where right now in my adulthood I had depression which was not easy to deal with. At least now we have 7 Cups thank God but back then things like this did not exist anywhere which made depression even more difficult than it is now in all honesty. 

Abuse is something that I still live with. It’s not physical abuse but it’s more than one type of non physical abuse (verbal, emotional, mental.)

As far as being a slave, I’ve been that and a people pleaser as well as put on a happy smile to keep how I was really feeling hidden from anyone else so they wouldn’t worry about me and enjoy themselves instead for a very long time 

 Blaming is something I’ve experienced more than once and sometimes still do. When something was actually my fault then fine blame me if you want but don’t blame me just to save yourself from responsible for and own up to your own mistakes and admit them as well as apologize like a mature person. 

I used to think all of it was never ending but not being a child anymore I know better than that now. I also know that I’ll be set free from all the negative things I’m currently going through.

But in the meantime anyone who wants to be set free, or set free their mind, heart, or soul, I hereby set you all permanently free from all your negativities whatever they are ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

Trigger warning- abuse, fear, disabilities, depression

Just a toddler, when innocence was taken,

just another slave, kept in a house of horrors,

24 adults, every day, so angry at me,

ready to feed their hungry passion.

Every day for 18 years, till someone finally rescued me.

my body now with ugly scars, and disabled.

I wear a happy smile, I hide the tears,

the voices in my head, of screams in pain

adults laughing, angry voices.

Shame, blame, guilt. 

it's neverending.

I just want my soul to be set free.

You are free. <3

It might just take your mind some time to fully believe that. <3

@Tinywhisper11 I'm struggling a bit 😥 been crying for hours now, I've locked my door and I'm hiding under the blanket. I'm not sure who to talk to it what to say. But I'm not doing good. I need some support most of all right now, what do I do

@TinyWhisper11  Hi friend. ❤️ I’m sorry things are so hard this time of year. I understand why though. Loss is so horrible because we can’t make sense of it, and there is no silver lining. It just hurts. My heart is with you. I hate that you went through all that pain your whole life, had someone so beautiful taken from you, and are suffering now.

How are you doing with eating and sleeping? It is ok to feel everything you’re feeling, as much as you don’t want to. I think maybe in some ways the pain never completely leaves for things like this. We do the best we can, and you’re doing so good. I’m glad to see you talking about it. I hope you’ll lean on us over the next couple weeks. So many people here care for you and want to do whatever they can for you. You’re a wonderful person. Let’s get you through this time, you’re almost there, just one step at a time. 

I’m praying for you, for Joshua, for your heart and mind to have some peace, for the flashbacks to calm down, for your body to have some relief. You are not in that place anymore. You are older now. You have carers and friends here who love you. You don’t have to do this alone anymore. You are safe now. ❤️

Good morning to you Tiny.
So - I have a story to tell you. There was this woman, who lost her 5 years old girl. She was very sad, always longing for her child. In heaven there was a group of children playing - but her child was standing by herself by a tree, not looking so very happy. She was asked why she was not playing and having fun with the other children. She said; my mother is too strongly bound to me so I cannot. So the mother understood that she had to let her go. She loosened the ties, let her go, and the small girl went happy to play and have fun with the other children.

Good morning to you @CatDaddy60

I just wanted you to see this thread from Tiny. I hope your children and wife is doing well.

I wish the peace from Jesus Christ over our lives today.
From Helga.

Good morning, Tiny. I'm praying for you this morning during my devotion time but when I go to church today I'll be lifting you up there as well. I think it is so ironic that you call yourself tiny whisper and I use the nickname tiny, but you're one of the biggest supporters for so many people. The dark past creeps up on you I know and and never wants to leave you alone, but God does love you and that love works through others that is so apparent here on seven cups. You are in my heart and on my mind in May the peace from God that surpasses all understanding well up in you by his grace.

@Tinywhisper11 I find myself going into that dark place again, 14 days till my sons birthday, I'm not mentally prepared for this. I find myself questioning  same things as always trigger warning, and stuff....... Was I really being punished cause I was the spawn of Jesus? Am I allowed to not forgive them? Am I living the best I can, with the second chance God have me? Is it right to hate myself for the past? Is it ok to vent? Is it ok that I don't understand why this is allowed to happen? Am I a bad person? Should I have been the one to have survived? Am I brave or just the coward I've always been? Is it ok to ask these questions, or feel the emotions I feel??

I'm so lost