TW SA SH
In grade 3 I met a boy named mateo, we became friends but he wasn't nice, he SA'd for four years and I only escaped him when I left school to be homeschooled. I tried to tell people but I didn't want to get me or him in trouble and the odd time I did speak up nobody believed me or would blame it on his bad home life. I like to think he didn't know it was wrong, after all we were kids but he knew, he would get scared when I told him I was going to tell and would stop when someone was near. I didn't understand it and only realized how wrong it was years later and still struggle to accept it actually happened. I don't remember to much but I will get flashbacks at night making to hard to sleep. My parents don't know and I want a therapist so I can get better but I can't get one for many reasons. I can't function normally because of him and I am constantly scared of seeing him, I'm less scared of him recognizing me and more scared he doesn't even remember or it didn't even happen. I wan to talk to someone about this but physically can't because my body shuts down when I try, I start shaking, it feels like someone kicked me in the chest and it gets hard to breathe, my head feels like it's going to explode, my vision blurs, my ears will ring the odd time and my throat feels like it starts closing. I need to talk about it to possess it but I get really bad when I do and I need to be watched after it or I'll hurt myself to stop the thoughts. I'm trying to work up the courage to ask my parents for a therapist but don't want them to know about what happened because they will feel guilty for not stopping it after all they knew the guy and have brought him up even after I escaped him. If anyone has any advice please let me know, this is eating me alive and I need help. Thank you for taking your time to read this I hope you are better them I am. Have a great day reader.
@redYard8893 awww sweetie I'm so sorry😥 I understand how hard it is to open up about these things🙁 being on cups has given me the confidence to speak up about bad things that have happened, although even writing it is incredibly hard🙁 you did really well reaching out here today 💖 and for your own health I hope you find the confidence to speak up, but in your own time it's ok to take it slow we all heal at different paces 💖 telling your parents can be very scary, but how about writing it in a letter and give it to them? Hugs you tightly 💖 I'm right here for you 💗
@redYard8893
I'm so sorry that you had to go through this, especially at such a young age. the healing process is going to take a lot of work and effort, but you should know that its not impossible. from what it sounds like your scared to tell your parents out of fear of embarrassment and "burdening" them. but I promise you, asking for help and support doesn't pass on a burden, it is just proof of your bravery and strength. the physical reaction also makes a lot of sense, I'm sure those events are all very anxiety inducing, so if you think it might be easier to write it all out and show them instead of saying it out loud you could maybe try that. sending u good thoughts <3 and if u wanna talk we'll listen
@lolorye89
maybe even send them links to therapies your interested in if you want so you guys don't have to start all the way from scratch <3
