Tbh I don't really know. ( 3rd attempt of making it because it kept crashing)

Hi. This is the 3rd attempt of making this *** thread, im so annoyed right now because whenever I speak my mind out. The app keeps crashing. And it might be because its long but it isn't that long compared to my 1st thread. Goodness I just feel like life doesn't want me to get help so I can suffer all the time. But this would be a short one since I don't want to risk my thread being gone again

So about my life, it is pretty *** and not. Sometimes I feel happy, sometimes I don't. But what makes me., confused, is that, whenever I hate someone. I just or I domt know if im doing this or its my stupid brain because it turns my biggest enemy. The person who personally hirt me and caused me to do self harm. Just.. turned into my identity.. it sucks, really. Because not only am I uncomfortable. But im also vulnerable. It just sucks really. But what I want to say the most is that,, that person who hurt me? Also hurt everyone around him. Not only is he controlling but he is also stupidly prideful and annoying. I just wonder if he's those steoryipical pick he's or an actually bad person. Because what he did to all of us made my blood.. boil. He caused someone to nearly faint from how tired she is from practicing. And one person almost broke down mentally from how unbelievably personal his attacks were when we do the slightest mistake. And I wonder, is this how leaders really act? Personally hurting someone, pushing them to there limits (im a bad way) barely giving us support and having 0 in between practices just.. look and sound bad, like the kind of bad where you don't even want to talk or think about it for how messed up that is. Anyways, I think that's all for today now. I just wanted to speak my mind in a more simpler way so that the app one crash again. Hopefully you understand what im dealing with.