Traumatic past? Or, a challenge.
Hello! Im new here and i just wanted to share something.
Whenever I was young. I used to have, friends that stay beside me, but looking back at it now. There pretty much a fake, but what happened to me when I was young is just sad. When Covid ended, I ended up becoming the confident cheery and reliable student. Even tho I wasn't the brughttest bulb, I was a good kid. But anyway, when I tried to make friends, it was, hard, I had a good intro yet, no one wanted to be my friend. So I kept going. And since I was getting desperate and tired of trying. I went up close to a friend group and told a friend group leader on where is my friendship bracelet. Since I was getting extremely desperate and really tired of trying. But she said that. Sorry [name] your not in this group, how about you make ur own friend group. Well girl. I tried, I really did try. I tried to.. make friends back then but they just don't want to. That's where my whole point of view shattered. I was left in shambles after that approach. And that point on. I stopped trying. I stopped being confident, cheerful, and just, happy. Because I was confused. Im confused why.. my classmates back then did that to me. Is it because im big? Is it because im too.. idk. Happy? I don't know what I did back then but., just thinking about it, makes me cry. Makes me not want to talk about it from how cruel life joked about when. I couldn't find anyone to talk to. Or let alone be with. So I.. acted being sick. I stopped going to school and pretend sick so I won't accept the harsh truth that. I don't have any shoulder to cry on. So. Yeah, that's what happened, and since I kept acting sick, my grades started to plummet down because I kept missing too many lessons, assignments, and projects. I was literally the backbone of the class. The under performer, the stupid one. Im not.. stupid, just.. struggling guys. Once my mom noticed that i was getting sick too often, she ended up finding out that I was faking it and scolded me, well, that's all I have to say I think, and just to clarify it happened all in the past. I domt remember it until one because of a certain someone who triggered that terrible memory.
@IdentityCrisisIDRK First of all welcome to 7 cups.
Thank you for sharing your experiences.
When it comes to bullying this can be one of the experiences associated with shame hence not wanting to tell your mum?
What isn't at all for you, you wont get.
What is for you and how you conduct yourself is usually what you get.
Be it certain friends etc.
Being a happy person is a lovely quality I would wish upon everyone. :)
Sometimes when peoples values, beliefs don't match this leads to a lack of chemistry.
The world is as such that people mainly are in it for themselves and that true friendship is rare - possible but rare.
All you can do is move through life and learn more about who identity is, what she tolerates, what she doesn't tolerate and how she shows up in relationships.
All the best.
You may find it best to get your thoughts and feelings out in sharing circle room.