Vacations with a narcissistic mother
Yay! It's the second round of trip-with-a-narcissistic-parent this year! You can imagine how much fun it is....
No. Having a trip with a narcissist is a actually less preferable then doing nothing all summer. No matter how great the city you'd visit be. It is the most triggering experience ever. For context, in the year, I don't really speak to my mother. I stay in the bedroom and it's like I'm not there. But these holidays, we located a really nice-but small appartment to live in for a week. And of course, she promised we'll go out all the time, and go to the beach and visit. But all she does really is to waste time and wasted time, spend one hundred hours in the supermarket , sleep all day or correct exams of her students complaining about the amount of work she got. Don't get me started on her literally doing everything to find a mistakr I or my sister had done. I feel like she's draining my energy every day a little more, and even saying one word to her is exhausting. Plus she's a paranoid and is always so stressed by everything. But the worst is the hypocrisy. Like " Oh, lets take a photo and look like the perfect family too send to everyone else". This comedy is so frustrating. And like, if dealing with a narcissist when you still all have your own room wasn't already exhausting, now we share the same room! But this isn't really the worst WORST. The worst WORST is being scared I'm losing my confidence with her just like before, re-becoming this people pleaser with no boundaries, lost and helpless, being manipulated again into the trauma bond with my sister, who's a less-worse narc, but still a narc.
Does anyone has an advice for when both your parents are narcs, and the rest of the people too, and you have to spend all summer with them? ( To not feel deadly sick)
@oliveSailboat9838
I couldn't agree with you more and can empathize with your struggles. My partner of 9 years is a full blown narcissist (a long with a few other disorders he holds the title to) and vacationing, really any situation we as a couple would find ourselves in, was anything but comfortable and stress free. Even going to the casino with friends became too much for me and when it was determine that I had become intolerable (his way or putting it) and put a damper on whatever he was ultimately trying to accomplish, and was subsequently left at home so that he didn't have to 'tend to me', I became almost grateful that I no longer had to subject myself to the horror show every outing had eventually become.
Narcissistic abuse is very real and utterly disgusting as far as I am concerned. It saddens me to know that as a society it took years before this type of abuse gained any attention or was talked about as it is today. Most believe that if you aren't wearing the abuse like the latest designers Fall look, that it simply isn't comparable or as detrimental. In many ways (and being the victim of physical DV previously) I can a test that physical wounds eventually heal over time, once the bruises are gone they no longer posed as a constant reminder. But the scars left from emotional/mental abuse do not possess the same luxury, often times rendering them immeasurable when considering the typical timeframe physical healing takes. I think ultimately it boils down to the level of abuse endured and the type. Abuse is abuse and it leaves its victims spiraling down rabbit hole after rabbit hole trying to get a foot hold on what exactly is happening.
I send you forth positive vibes, immense strength, and courage to carry through ❤️
