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did it even count?

User Profile: navySugar8168
navySugar8168 March 29th, 2024

TW: S/A, int0xication

my s/a story is complicated as it happened to me whilst i was in a relationship with my ex and i'm not sure if it even counted because of this. additionally the next time it happened (a few weeks ago) with a close friend, ive gotten myself to feel so guilty over it as i was int0xicated and therefor made go be vulnerable (at my own fault). i felt like i should've done something but i froze and the details are so blurry because of the circumstances that i'm not entirely even sure what all happened, i just remember feeling his body in and around mine and i can't brush that off. i don't remember all the details and because of the haziness surrounding it all and i don't want to claim this as 'trauma' or label myself a victim (or even rwlaly count this as s/a) because i don't ever want to cheapen the meaning of how severe actual s/a cases are and take away from other people's valid stories.

3
User Profile: toughTiger6481
toughTiger6481 March 29th, 2024

@navySugar8168

Yes it does count........ if someone took advantage and touched you when you were clearly not in a frame of mind to consent..... It can be frightening and confusing when you really did not remember what happened.     Is there a way to talk to someone or a few who were there  to clarify what truly happened.


2 replies
User Profile: navySugar8168
navySugar8168 OP March 29th, 2024

@toughTiger6481


Unfortunately that's another part of the issue i can't put together. it was just me and him in his bedroom, no one else was home. i'm too scared to ask him about it in fear of angering him and there was no one else there to have seen. i remember sobering up and deciding i needed to get out of there so i got up and walked home and, when i got home, someone who lives with me commented on how i had a s3xual marking on me and asked what happened but i couldn't say anything i felt frozen still. i remember elements of it (mainly just the feeling of panic) but i was in and out of consciousness the whole way through it

1 reply
User Profile: toughTiger6481
toughTiger6481 March 29th, 2024

@navySugar8168

Well in that case i would guess something did happen and it must be extremely hard when your memory or such is a hazy mess...... it must also be hard as i assume you trusted this person as a friend who would not treat you that way when you were clearly unable to give consent. 

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