A Raven's Eye

@ruffneckred

Well if money could be made babbling, then you and I would BOTH be Billionaires! Right?

It sounds to me like maybe she might have gotten triggered by what you are going through (which isn't your fault by the way!). Might have gone off into her own mental space of worst-case scenarios which at least made it very difficult for her to be there for YOU. I'm not making excuses for her. Just saying, maybe you don't need to take ownership for WHY or even HOW she left. <3 <3 <3

I've met a # of people on this site who wanted to be Listeners and found that it was just too challenging in terms of their own issues and self-care. And even the most seasoned of the Listeners that I am aware of, go on self-care breaks, or sometimes limit how often or how many 1 to 1 chats they do. hmmm. That sounds like I'm defending again, huh?

Any way you slice it, she should have let you know she was leaving and not coming back. In my opinion. And ideally, it would have been great if she had also offered to connect you to another listener who might be a good fit for you and your concerns. Likely it might still have hurt-- no one likes to be turned away. But at least you wouldn't be spinning!

I don't know how long you've been here. For me it's only been 3 months. So I'm by no means an expert about this site, or forums or chatrooms. As you've seen from some of my previous public conversations with Fede, I liken chatroom conversation or the pace of it to an adrenaline surge. For me, I'm learning need to find ways to build in... pauses, calm, breathing room, reflection, space. And that's just about the general environment. But I digress.

What I meant to say is, There were quite a # of perfectly fine Listeners, who I only chatted with a little. Then I started looking in the forums I was interested in for the Listeners there, and looking at profiles to find a better fit. And depending upon my concern or the way I need to explore something /be supported, I may talk to someone different. I Hope you'll try again, if this site still feels like it might hold some posssibility for you. There are alot of resources and opportunities here, and you deserve to be heard, seen, respected, cared about and supported.

(Rueful smile).... I realize that may sound contradictory when you have probably heard me talking about leaving the site. For me, I really have learned more about how I would want to be here, and the guidelines I'd have for myself, and how I could best make use of this site and it's resource for my healing.... if I ever come back. Even with some mistakes or misunderstandings along the way, I have received support here, while I was making some big shifts, that made a huge, proactive difference for me. Particularly since I don't have much of a fallback position or safety net in terms of outer world community. I'm not cryin' in my beer or anything. I'm just saying it was amazing to have support that worked.

I hope this helps you a little. Please know you are welcome to come here anytime. To talk or no. Come in and be at ease.

@ruffneckred

one other thing I would share, is that I often find (sometimes when I least expect it) that people show up in my life, or I in theirs, and it turns out we are each working one side or the other of a similar challenge, or different areas on a spectrum of something. Sometimes that makes it work more easily, sometimes it makes for huge reactions etc. And it can be really tough not to take that personally....whether I do, or they do, or we both do, or the whole crowd. That can feel like almost more than one can take.... to have that happen ON TOP of ...whatever.

You're a good person, and I believe you that you'll find a new level, because you're a strong person too. G'night again!

@lonelyandsickFede

Hello Dear Friend Fede! I have just finished reading your letter. Thank you for all the time and care you took to write that, and share it with me. Btw, you were right, of COURSE, that I wasn't able to read it on my phone, and that it was easily done via my laptop! I guess that will be the trade-off: better emojis on my phone v. the" secret-decoder ring on my laptop! " :-D

I admire you! You are so strong, and you know yourself so well. You have tenacity and integrity, as well as compassion and insight, that I only see deepening every day. You are so creative, innovative and intelligent. You have a gift for "finding a way through"; problem-solving in organization.

come here, Fede. Look in this mirror. Can you see HOW AMAZING YOU are? I do!

It's morning, where you are, How can I brighten your day?!

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🌂 Fede's Story ☔

@SpruceRaven

Hey, Raven! :) How are you today, my dear friend?

Thank you so much, Raven 💖 For your kind words, for understanding my pain, for reading the whole post so carefully.. thank you.

💗 I'm truly happy I met you. You're so caring, understanding, gentle, honest, strong, smart.

You probably don't realize how special you are. So I'll be here to remind you until you believe it

edited by Rain45 To comply with posting guidelines

The color of the sky

edited by Rain45 to comply with posting guidelines

@ruffneckred

Hi there! We don't know each other, but I'm really sorry to hear that your listener left.

It can be quite depressing, especially after you pour your heart into every word you say to them and show them every part of your mind.

I hope you can find someone willing to listen to your story and stay by your side.

I'm just a member, but if you ever need to talk, I'm here

I heard you like emotes... 😀

@SpruceRaven

I just read again what you said about preferring your phone because of emotes. And so I remembered something.

If you ever need to use emotes from your pc, you can go on EmojiPedia, look for the emote you want (through the categories or using the search bar on top), click on it to open its page, and click on the copy button. Then you can paste the emote anywhere.

FYI if you see an empty square instead of an emote, it usually means that the character for the emote won't be seen on all devices / browsers, so I suggest you avoid using that one.

🍕🍔🍟🍩🍰 So well made and cute (and probably delicious)! And they're actual characters, just like letters. How cool is that?!?

@lonelyandsickFede

@ruffneckred

Joy & Gratitude!

I am sooo happy & grateful to come here this morning, and find letters from both of you! It's morning here; noonish in ND and and 5pm in Italy. ;D I can't stay long just now. Just want you both to know that I've read your posts with care and am wishing you the very best upon the day/evening! (And a few Raven crumbs, and spruce needles.... below... before I go!

Emoticons/Emojis!

THANK YOU SOOO much, both of you! It is so thoughtful of you Red, to show me where I can find many many more, and how to go about making it work! (sorry, t'will have to be old school, or the few attached to the posting pop-up for now --> But soon.... I shall conquer The WORLD! bwwahaha! ;->>) Thank you too, Fede for bringing up Apple vs Android. (grinning). As per usual, I am a hybrid! --> --> I have an Android Phone and a MacBook laptop. (I don't have a desktop anymore). It's going to be sooo Fun! And YES! (fist pump) not only delicious looking ..... but actual KEYS? ..Whaaaa? So cool! (Don't EAT them! Lol).

Working around the bugs & Sensitive or private + sharing about these

We are on the same page on that Fede. Let's talk more later about the best way to go about that, hmm? :-D <3 <3 I think it could really help folks!

Stories <3 @ <--- pretend that's a Sun! ' " ' " <-- This is Rain!

Thank you for Sharing more of your Story, Fede, and for asking after some of mine. I will be responding soon. As to what I can do for you, would you like that to be private, or en plein aire and shared? (: -]

Wonderful to see you both! Talk soon! Take care!

The Color of the Sky

@lonelyandsickFede

I just revisited your previous post of same subject. Got it! I am On Board! ;->>>

More soon!

Emoticons & ooops! re accreditation

@lonelyandsickFede

Hey there! Sorry. The Emoticon info was ALL YOU! Sorry. It was late, and between the color red (for Red) and the color dark orange (which I've chosen for you ;-0), .... I got confused. THANK YOU AGAIN! I"m so excited to explore that! I will be filling PAGES! lol