Abused by a family member 😔
Hi, I'm new on this site. As a child I was sexually abused by a family member. It was only a few times that I recall as I spoke up but this person remained in my life which basically carried on as normal (as in no more abuse). This person suffered no consequence for his actionsas he was 'sick'?! I on the other hand was left totally confused!What had happened?why had it happened. Life carried on I grew up it became a passing thought,I had learned to put it aside to be dealtwith at a later date. I then met my now partner who after 7yrsI was able to tell. We talked and talked and again I put it aside and life carried on. It is now 6 years later and here I am again struggling with my past. I'm a happy person with a good life,a loving partner 2 gorgeous girls great friends,Life's good BUT... At times this one thingjust consumes me!
This entire post saved me today.
Jenny talk talk talk! It helps! Your not alone here. There's a community here willing to help and support you.
You are not alone, as VC said, talk, talking is very important. Though if you can't do that just yet I am glad you are reading and finding comfort in our stories.
Wow really? That's powerful stuff then. I am happy you found comfort here. I hope we all can heal the wounds that cause such extreme emotional pain. For me it's difficult to not blame myself for speaking up and telling someone. Oh well I have to live with that !
Broken49you know the blame game is one of the hardest things to get past. You will benefit greatly by getting past this and it is possible.
I never felt like I was playing the blame game. Unless you have walked in my shoes, you don't know how my past was just as I don't know yours. Please don't refer to my past as a game of blame. Thanks, have a good day !
When I say name game I refer to it as such as there are so many elements involved that at times it does feel like it goes back and forth like a game. I mean to cause no disrespect and apologies ifI'vedone so that was not my intention. Best of luck!
@VC
No worries, it's ok. It's just a very sensitive topic for me. I do appreciate your concern.
Thank you
My story is so so twisted that I'm scared to look deeper on it. I'm scared I would change. If I start to cry for everything, I'm not sure when I'll stop and I have no one close to go through it, alone may put at a risk my daughter's stability. If I start the rage or the hate, I'll turn into them, and I already won that battle by leaving them behind.
But I know. Keeping it kills you. Not keeping it is risky. But someday, who knows.
Im glad you have found this site Jenny I hope it helps you. It's a great support network.
When ever you're ready Jenny, and as much as you feel you can share, there will be ears here to listen to you.
I am sorry to hear your in pain. Letting out your emotions helps a lot...
Are either of your girls turning the age you were when you were molested? I was molested by my much older brother from the ages of 2-5 and when my daughter was almost 2the flashbacks and nightmares returned. I got help & found out that it's common for this to happen when your child turns the age you were when you first got molested. I think it makes you realize how young & innocent you were. I even have a hard time changing my dayghter's diapers cause I see her tiny vagina & just can't even fathom anyone sticking stuff in there. I am in a real dark place right now & don't see any light at the end of the tunnel. I've been reading books & it seems like it never fully heals. I just want to live life again. I'm so depressed all the time.
I fully understand the upset of being the black sheep. For the last year & a half I've excluded myself from all family events because I just can't be in the same room as my brother. This year I finally told my dad what happened. It was so hard for me. I also told my dad how much it hurt me that I have missed all this family stuff & how unfair it is that the abuser has gotten to be with the family. I thought my Dad was being supportive & understood and I was so happy when my dad invited me to Thanksgiving at my Grandma'suntil hesaid my brother was bringing the turkey. What?!!!! I was so devastated & hurt. I thought if I told the truth things would be different.
Yes! My daughter is the same age now as I was when abused. I also have a younger daughter who is 8 months old and when she was born was when it all became too much again. I'm now seeing a counsellorwhich is very beneficial.
Hi, i am very new to this. Reaching out and asking for help. I have had major depression for over 20 yrs. I have experienced many horrible things in my life time. I don't know where to begin?
Hi Holy. Welcome to 7cups! I hope you find some support here. Itis really hard opening up but this is a safe place to have a chat and a great support network.
Holy, I know a lot about how you are feeling. I , too, have had a lot of bad things happen in my life. I only was diagnosed with major depression this summer. My counselor said I could have been depressed to a lesser degree for quite a while though. I feel as though all the things I have experienced have been enough for a half dozen or more peoples lifetimes. When I went to see my counselor, it was because I found out a girl from past that I cared about had died. This was on top of my mom passing away last year. The second visit with my counselor, she out of the blue, asked if I had been abused in the past. How could she have known by what I had told her, I thought. I was sexually molested by my dad between the ages of 5 and 12. I am a guy. You dont know how hard this was to admit. I can tell you that talking with my counselor, reading, and 7 cups has helped me get everything out. This is only 3 things out of a dozen or more bad things that has happened to me. Most of the people on here have been through some terrible things or are studying to help others. I have found many people on here that have helped me get things off my mind and made me forget about troubling things and made me smile. They had me feeling like we had known each other and been friends for a while. Talking really helps buddy. I will say a prayer in hopes you can get to a batter place.
I'm so sorry you are going through this. 
