I didn't want it to happen
I had a boyfriend and I didn't really want him to be but I had no friends at the school I was going to and he seemed to be the only person who was interested in knowing me and I like to go slow but he seemed in a rush and he kept pushing me farther and farther but I always stopped him before we went to far and one time I guess that wasn't okay with him so one time when I said stop he didn't and he went all the way without my permission and I thought it was my fault for teasing him and he had the right to but the next time I struggled harder and he slapped me and left and that was the last time I saw him I still have flash backs of what he did and when I do nothing seems to help so I thought maybe getting it out and not keeping it to myself would help
@Graciegrace153 It sounds like you are thinking this wasn't your fault and you aren't sure if you should tell someone.
@Graciegrace153 It's good you are getting it out. What you have described sounds like a rape. I encourage you to call a rape hotline, or look for support for women who have been raped in your community. That will really help you.
@Graciegrace153
It's so good to see you sharing and working to cope with what your boyfriend did to you. Flashbacks are one of the symptoms that is difficult to manage in recovery. When I went through my trauma, I experienced flashbacks and other difficulties such as fear of it happening again, isolating from potential threats or certain people, etc. What I found helped with flashbacks for me was to figure out how to ground myself. By grounding I mean helping myself to connect to the hear and now to know it's not happening right now. For example, I intentionally use tactile activities such as rub on something with texture like a couch arm or bare feet on the carpet. My favorite thing is using PlayDoh to both manipulate as well as to use my smelling senses, and smell it. Since those things weren't in my trauma, they are great distractions to reality for me.
