I knew it would happen eventually...

In September it will have been 2 years since I was raped... I decided to not press charges due to his families afilations with a gang and I worried about my families safety... one of my child hood friends little brother raped me and I just walked away and now Im the one with the huge scares that I have to carry around... since this happened I havent been out to the store by myself, Ive missed loads of work and have had to change jobs.... I finally stated to feel like I was handling things and becoming me again and decided I could go to the store and get my medication.... huge mistake!!!! I just happened to look over to see my friend standing there starring at me... I looked down and away so fast that I couldnt even process what was happening and I just ran out of the store..... and I havent been the same since... Ive been super depressed and just dont know how to out of this funk... my husband keeps telling me to be positive and be happy and I just feel like I am right back where I was right after it happened.... lost.... and wishing that I never went to the store alone.... I mean I knew this day would come eventually but I never expected it to happen so soon and I thought I would be more prepared for it and I wasnt!