Needing a bit of support?
This thread has been created at request of members so that anyone looking for a little support can post, where members and listeners can respond and give that little bit of TLC needed! Please remember not to be too graphic to avoid where possible triggering other members. Thanks
I'm not even sure if the "traumatic subcommunity" is where I belong but I was directed here by some very kind souls.
I'm in the USA. I've been married almost 20 years. Things are becoming increasingly more difficult between us and I'm not even sure we have a marriage any longer. Some very unpleasant things have been happening.
I'd like to connect with a Listener at some point today if that is possible that is familiar with difficult marriage relationships.
Thank you for your consideration.
@themainjane
Hi and welcome 🖐🙂. We are a friendly and compassionate bunch here. I hope you can feel safe, supported and listened to like I have.
You say that things are becoming increasingly more difficult between you and your spouse and you are unsure of where you stand. It sounds like you are uncomfortable with your situation and i can relate with that.
I hope you can connect with a listener today and I have tagged some that I have found to be kind and compassionate listeners in this post.
we are als having a trauma support session in the support chat room at 2pm EDT today, and you would be most welcomed there too.
hugs 🌼🌻👣❤
@SaltyDog68
@colorfulStrawberry19
@helpfulWatermelon5615
Very kind of you to take the time to respond to me. Thank you for the suggestions.
@themainjane
i just wanted to check in with u to find out how things are. Are you settling in here okay? Im not on 7cups very often but will try to keep in touch
Take Care for now
Since my sister's attempted suicide, I've been having trouble sleeping, and now I'm having flashbacks again. There is a whole story, but I just couldn't find anyone suitable to talk to and I wanted to be able to tell someone at least. It's not fair and I'm crying.
I know what to do to calm down, and I'll be fine in a while, but things have just really been really hard for me the last couple weeks. This last one was just unexpected as well. I don't really know what to do. It's so hard to get assess to support when I need it most.
@resourcefulPond1641 ... Oh Pond ... your last line, I don't think I could agree more. Like here is now 1230am, counselor office = closed (of course), but certain phone hotlines closed too. Friends asleep or getting there. ... It's like ok, i have very rough time, who or where do I go to!??
................ with you in this, Platy
@cyanPlatypus6370 *hugs* Thank you! It's nice to feel that you can empathise, although I'm also sorry you can too. You know what I mean.
I guess we just have to keep trying, and trust ourselves to be able to cope until then. It can really had be hard though at time.
I need to use some bad words. Everytime I sleep which is often but not for long my brain all it wants to do is show me bad things. So I wake up crying like last night and about two hours ago. Then it will not be queit after I wake up. I am so tired and lost now. i really do not like those pictures and i just want them to go away so much. i am not sure how to stop it
Yes, I need some extra support. It probably relates to "General Trauma" in some way, but could be a very poor choice as a coping skill. I'm in the ED Support Sub-Community too, but as here, I don't know where to post in there. (sigh)
I'd like to have a new mom. Anyone want to apply? I could make a classified ad - sort of like the Banks' children did for a nanny in "Mary Poppins."
It's hard to separate myself or my symptoms into categories like is asked of us in the Forum. This post could easily be set in the Grief/Loss section as well. (Wishing for a true smile, or some laughter! whoa 
) ~ Platy
. ****Trigger Warning - Could be potentionally triggering so please proceed with caution***
I need some help and I cannot tell you a lot but it is not about me. I need some adult views or thoughts on this There is this girl and well her father if I ever meet him I would kick him until he is dead. He hits her and does not let her out, also other b****** stuff. The thing is I want to say tell someone anyone that he does that but she does not have a mommy or other family so I completely get it. In my head it has to be her choice because if someone made me tell then I would hate that person forever still I want to shake her and say tell someone. If she hated me that is fine as long as she was safe but then again I go back to thinking it has to be her decision. So I do not know what to do, I want to stop talking to her but then I feel guilty as hell and she is nice so I do not want to do that and well that is just not something I should do. I just want her to be safe and live with someone who, sorry for the bad lanugage, is not a complete b******. I do not know her late name or address so there is no much to be done. So I do not know what to do, she should tell, if I had those things then I would give them to mommy and she would phone the police in 5 seconds. Still if someone did that to me I would really hate them forever. So ARGHHHH
Edited by dancingRainbow45 on 17/04/2017 Inappropriate language not censored out
@AmalieAnne HI Amalie I have edited your post to put the trigger warning at the top of your post as your spoiler alert was a little way into the message and very small also the language, if your going to swear then I would say use ***** .
Regarding the person you had posted about, it always should be a decision by the person who is being hurt or has been hurt as to the action they decided to take. Abuse is always about power and control and so anyone who has been traumatised by abuse needs to feel in control of decisions they make. Sometimes this is not always possible when it does involve young children. You seem to have mixed feelings about what to do. No one can tell you what to do, but perhaps considering still being her friend even if shes not able to do what you would, or would want her to do. Being a survivor can be very isolating and it would be a shame for her to lose your friendship because she had told you. I know you wish she would do what you did and have the outcome you have, but this may or may not happen for her. Everyones situation is different and sometims young people get treated right but sadly a lot dont. No matter what you choose to do, there are always going to be many more people who like this person are being hurt and you cannot rescue people until they wish to rescue themselves. Perhaps try and be there, listen and care, and not treat her any differently because she has suffered abuse. What do you think? How would you have felt if you had lost friendships if you had told someone? Telling people about being abused is never eay but it sounds as though this person has taken a first step and that may turn out to be a really good thing
@dancingRainbow45 I am really sorry about the bad language and I will put warning thing at the top. I guess you are kind of right it is not my decision to make and I am not sure 100% of the time me telling someone was right. There is nothing I can do to stop that it just frustrating and makes me angry and sad and confused... I will still be her friend of course and hopefully she will find it within her to tell someone. I get what you saying about control and her needing to be in control. Just makes me want to kick something... Again sorry about the language. Thank you what you said helps a lot.
@AmalieAnne hey no worries we all make little mistakes, even I do. I know your a good person but I can hear how you want to help this person. I guess all you can do is be a good friend but it is hard when we know someone is being hurt and feel powerless and helpless in not being able to help them but it is important that this person makes her own choices but with the support of those who care about her
@dancingRainbow45 It is just confusing, I told not about the sexual abuse things just the hitting kind of because well to be honest it to difficult to hide and because my bestest friend knew about it so she (s.) did not pushed me but said I should tell. I am not sure I could do that again ever. But I without being her I can easily say she should tell that these things are happening to her. Kind of makes me feel bad for S. since she had to help hide my secret which must have be difficult, which makes me feel guilty I did that to S. I really think S. is stronger than me for helping me. ok crying now so will stop.
@AmalieAnne It can be confusing but remember too that everyones life is different, some people have good relationships with family, some people have supportive people around them whilst other people dont, some people get angry about what happens and that can often make them speak out or alert people, whilst other people are quieter and more withdrawn. We sometimes think people are stronger than us when infact sometimes they can be having the same kind struggles you may feel but they too are struggling even if it looks like they may not be. People cope in all kinds of ways and they can also hide a lot of whats happening for them and what they feel
@dancingRainbow45 People are confusing but I understand what you are saying, thank you.
I think for the first time in a while I am feeling so sad. realization. that I just worked out I might have to live in canada for ever and I do not have a daddy like before,
Hi!
I have complex PTSD, depression and anxiety, as well as some chronic physical issues.
I'm currently having EMDR but really struggling with it and need some support outside of it. The therapist is not open to talking about stuff, only doing the EMDR :-/
If anyone is able to offer some 1:1 listening time, I'd really appreciate it :-)
Thank you
@Tamba hei tamba, i do have a cptsd like you.. if you want to share a story with me i'd like to hear.. we can share our story together too
Hey, so I'm new here. Recently I've being feeling really anxious because mostly things have been going good and I'm moving forward, but I just kind of feel like I shouldn't. I'm scared of moving on and I feel like I dont deserve it.
@poliktg Hello, I hope that you do not mind me replying. It is a amazing thing that you are doing good and moving forward. I would say you do deserve it but sometimes people are told that they do not deserve nice things to happen to them and they get used to it even when it is not true. Could it be that?
Hey @poliktg and welcome! Its okay to feel a bit anxious... moving on is another step... you are not alone... we are here in support.
Hey, I've been feeling like I don't have a big purpose on this planet. I feel like I have a whole life to live, but I dont feel like I'm going to do anything that will make my life worthwhile. I feel as though I was given a choice to be something great and I passed it up because I thought I could never be as great as anyone thinks I could be. I would really appreciate anyone who feels the same to speak up so I don't feel so alone.
@VHalen Hi Halen, Im sorry to hear you have been feeling like this. It can be hard sometimes to believe you have a plae to fit in, that you belong that you have purpose, especially if you have a history of trauma and I know many members here could identify with some of how you may be feeling. It sounds as if your self esteem is pretty low which can make it hard for you to believe in yourself and your abilities? What do you feel the chance was for you to be a good person, that you feel has passed? What makes you feel you can't still be who you wish to be, what obstacles would you say are in your way with regards working towards that? And welcome, we are pleased ot have you here. i wish no one needed a trauma community but glad you reacjed out and sorry you did not have a response until now. 
@dancingRainbow45 thanks for this. honestly i feel like i just really want people to not talk at all and just let me talk and have them really listen attentively. I've been so frustrated lately by people speaking for me or invalidating me. :(
@Daydreamer47 Im sorry this is happening for you daydreamer. Is this happening for you at 7cups with listeners or in life generally. That must feel frustrating for you. Its hard if you feel invalidated and as though people are talking or even thinking sometimes for you. Have you been able to share that this is how you have been left feeling with the people concerned?
