Trigger time

So I triggered myself by listening to a song that triggers me I purposely looked for the exact video to see if now I'm stronger. Spoiler I'mn't. Basically I thought i was stronger cause for a couple of weeks I haven't had a single panic attack. All I learnt was a. On my own I will never get over the song b. Time hasn't solved anything I'm pretty sure its just made it worse c. I'm stupid d. The entire song triggers me no just the chorus. So a while back when I was 10 my school had a play for year 6s and we had songs in it the entire class had to sing (dear god I'm strong I had to listen to and lip sync a song that triggers me for an entire week) the greatest show there were like leaders or the main singers that would sing throughout whilst the rest would only sing the chorus god I don't think I can say more but basically I was singing quietly because I hate singing because I get easily embarrassed and I suck at writing this I'm crying anyways I had a panic attack whcih lasted god knows how long it was the longest I think it lasted 30 minutes or maybe more it was from som time during class to the end of lunch time. So now its one of my triggers. I'm so incredibly stupid. I honestly hate my year 6 teacher and the year 5 teacher (who thank the gods wasn't my teacher her voice alone makes me cry and want to throw up and have a panic attack I'm not kidding or being rude that's actually what happens whenever she teaches us) and i wish I could just forget my life