ACTUAL tips for living with narcissists (no bs)

Hii here I'm gonna be completely honest and tell my advice for surviving in a highly triggering for the least environment!

(I do advise you to read this after watching some videos on the matter and being already educated on your situation, and make your own research to gain awareness) 

Free to disagree!

1) Buy noise cancelling headphones  🎧 :

     It's extremely important if you live with narcissistic people or just in an environment that's extremely loud with a lot of arguing, tension, and if you can't move from that environment. Especially if you're in your own room and the noise is insufferable, like when  my neighbors did renovation work it was absolutely ear wrenching and having my headphone was super useful, or when I have to follow my parents on a trip, it's really reassuring to know you can escape.  📢THOUGH I don't know the effects long term, and I found it displeasant for a long period, and when I remove it I'm really careful to do it slowly to not cause sensory shock.

2) You're not ALWAYS gonna be calm 💥

    The greatest mistake of some youtube advice is they don't really work for if you're with toxic people for more then one day; especially narcissistic people. You're not always gonna be able to gray rock. Like, sure, not reacting is nice, and controlling your emotions can protect you. But it's not sustainable long term, at least it wasn't for me. If you have a lot of bottled up stuff from childhood, or are highly sensitive, you ARE gonna end up reacting. It's not if you react, it's when you react. And it's really important to accept it and not blame yourself for it. THO this is for when you have greatly gained awareness and became better on managing your anger, and understood that arguing with them is useless. Sometimes you're just gonna burst out crying or just shouting of exhaustion. And if it feels liberating, then accept it. It's perfectly okay. What you want is to disminish the number of times you react and the amount you react. What matters is you can get out of a discussion, not that you don't start it. That's huge and what the real power is, away from unrealistic standards.

🔑The key is to keep your shouting for yourself, like I do alone talk a lot, is more efficient then writting sometimes; and I say all the things I can't say to the narcissist, or I sing, or I punch the punching ball.

3) One technique only won't work

  You see, as I said, grey rock is great. But if it was that easy, people wouldn't have so much trouble in narcissistic relationships. They ARE sometimes really "smart", in the manipulation game essentially, and dangerous as well, so you need multiples things you can turn to. For example, if you need something, you need something only they can give you, you need to give them attention. ( dr ramani has a great video on this). Etc, etc. So if anything, disengaging all the time is just not realistic IF you have to live with them.

4) DON't watch self-development videos

 Self-development won't help you. It didn't help me either. Why?

A) Because it promotes only one way of doing things. 

B) Because it keeps you addicted

C) Because it is totally superficial

  THOUGH I learned pretty important things for the first time in these videos, like boundaries and cutting off friends who are not your friends, it kept me in a loop of feeling frustrated and watchig another video because it's oh-so-useful. But what was it actually doing to me? It was keeping me away from seeing my real problems. It kept me having unreasonable expectations of both me and the world around me, which obvsiouly wasn't meeting the rules of the fake world of self development influencers. So I cut it off once for ever, and I started watching mental health videos instead, which sometimes end up making you feel like you're not making any progress, but at least professionals keep it real (most of the time). 

  That's for the tips, the rest I think is personal to each, share what your own experiences are, and advice is welcome too. ( I know I talk like a youtuber, don't I?)