Abuser Apologizing & Trying to Make Amends

Since childhood, I've had PTSD/CPTSD that was inflicted onto me by my parents [verbal abuse by both parents, physical and SA by mother...]. Then, I was in a relationship with my alcoholic ex [whom we share a child together] for 3 years where he caused verbal, physical, and financial abuse.... We've been separated for 8 months and I've been seeing someone else quite causally...

My parents NEVER, EVER apologized for the damage they caused, but my ex has.... multiple times in the past everytime I tried leaving him[until I left him permanently 8months ago] then he'd go back to drinking and acting belligerent.

However nowadays? I told him we're done for good, but he says he still loves me. He bought our son a lot of new clothes and a new backpack[I mentioned I was going to get one for the little one, but he bought it]. I've been struggling financially, and my ex has bought gas for my car and even offered to help buy food and help pay my eviction, but I turnt him down and told him only focus on the little one and with our co-parenting...

Technically...I guess he should help with the eviction even though the lease was on my name..because he squatted there never helped with ANY of the bills on our last year of the relationship...but I just don't want to end up arguing about money or feel like I "owe" him, even though he almost murdered me while intoxicated.

I don't know...I'm happy he's here to help with our son but slightly nervous he's getting into my good graces because of other motives. He seems to genuinely care about our son though, and our son misses him a lot. He works two jobs now, 7-days a week, because he had an eviction before we were together and is paying off his now.

Question: Have you EVER had an abuser apologize to you? Was it fake or genuine? Did you forgive them?

I don't want him to get the wrong idea if I start talking to him more frequently about son. I DON'T hate him at all, but I definitely DON'T love him, because I'm in love with somebody else...I just want him to move on, and I would be OK if we were just friends at the MOST. At the least, just co-parents who have to coexist.

As for my parents...to be honest, I don't love them nor hate them either, but I'm highly indifferent towards them. They are basically like strangers in my life. They're hyper religious, and almost kicked me out of the house and close to disowning me for "looking gay" when I was younger[I used to cut my hair very short, like a pixie cut. I have long hair now, just mostly out of being picky on who cuts my hair and well, COVID lol. Also, I like both men & women, mostly women... I thought I was gay for most of my younger years from elementary to senior high, then I found out when I was around 18+ years old in college, I like men too... I'm also an atheist, but have no problem toward those who have religion or are spiritual. Everyone has their own truth in their life, and I won't tell anyone what to do or what to believe.

I've tried for years to have a relationship with my parents, but it feels fake and that I'll never get their approval, especially since I have a child out of wedlock. My mother used to not even acknowledge her grandson. Furthermore, she is an immigrant from another country, and wanted me to get with someone who's her race/ethnicity...I'm mixed race, and it seems like she loves to forget that, unless I do something "bad", then I am more like my father's race. [Mother is Hispanic/Latina, father is black from a western country, ex is an islander with immigrant parents from different islands...the guy I'm seeing happens to be Latino, she liked him until she heard he smokes weed, and thinks he's evil or something now].

My mother has come around to acknowledge her grandson and sends gifts now, but won't make an effort to visit him and makes excuses. My father will come though if I ask him to, but he's not really allowed to drive anymore, he's too old [born in the '40s, he's 20yrs older than my mother, they separated years ago]. He refuses going by plane too, because of a plane crash in his past...

Anyways, thank you for reading. I'm just curious...Can anyone relate to this??