Everywhere I go, the pain follows...
- Everywhere I go, the pain follows.
- It's difficult to express how I feel, because I don't want to wallow
- "They're your family" and "Why couldn't you do better?" they say,
- Without really knowing what I deal with, day after day.
- My brain has been broken since birth and continues to deteriorate.
- I was told I was nothing, therefore, they abnegate
- Who I am as a person and can't see me for who I am
- I've gotten to the point where I no longer give a damn
- I'm tired of the pain. I'm tired of the headaches. I'm tired of the heartaches.
- I want to finally live my life, without always dealing with strife.
- The pain won't go away, both physical and mental.
- I can't help either, but to always feel sentimental...
- When will I be OK?
- When will things truly get better? -- I wonder
Hello...It's Imp. I'm having a hard time expressing how I really feel, so I made a lil poem to help out a bit. I put the bulleted points, because I'm not sure how the spacing works on here? Sometimes there's no line breaks if not spaced out properly or it looks too spaced out...
Anyways lol. Idk, just been dealing with mental and physical pain for awhile. I've been diagnosed with depression and PTSD. I also have chronic pain from a car accident, and also from my abusive ex-fiance who nearly made me unalive. My mental issues started since I lived with my parents, who abused me growing up.
For awhile, I have been feeling broken...Just wanted to vent really.
I'm tired of being broken and want the healing process to go faster.
I go to physical therapy and have a referral for regular therapy, just been playing phone tag until they I can schedule an appointment for the depression and PTSD...I've also been attending the sharing circle here on 7cups. I'm trying to heal, but it's taking awhile...
Thank you for listening, I hope you guys have a good one.
-Iɱρ
@ImpudentIncognito
Hello, I am sorry to hear about you struggling with self-worth and physical issues. I want you to know that I can resonate with all your feelings. I am sorry to say that, unfortunately, the road to healing can be slow. You said you also struggle with PTSD, which in itself is hard. I admire your wisdom and the strength it took to reach out for support. That was a major step😊. I came from a family that devaluated my existence and made me feel like nothing, no matter how hard I tried. I understand. When you have been devalued for so long, it becomes very hard to begin to feel self-worth again, but it is not impossible. The road is long, but taking baby steps and the drive to rise above who and what people have labeled you with will surely cause them to take notice that their plans to destroy you as a person or to lay the foundation to stop you from knowing who you are and how precious you are and that there is a plan for your future to make you the head and not the tail. A plan for a restored body and Favor wherever you go. Think about it for a moment❤️. Show the world and yourself that you will rise and fly high and that no devil will be able to stop you.
I believe in you and the courage it took to reach out 😊❤️. I am very proud of you. You deserve the best❤️. You can use this thread to reach out for more support. or reply back and I will respond.
Peace, Love, Prosperity Happy holidays🎄😊❤️
@WorkingitThrough2 Hi Through, sorry for the delayed response! I'm pretty slow on responding.
I appreciate your response. I'm sorry you also came through a difficult background where they devalued you as well.
Today, I went to a physical and behavioural therapy orientation. (I'm currently in a different physical therapy place, but may go with these guys, because they do all types of therapy and offer medical help at new place).
I really liked the facility, although I don't enjoy that it's a 4hr appointment, 3 days out of the week due to employment. I'm currently unemployed due to leaving a toxic (temporary) job, however, I'm going to work another temp job for now until I get my real estate license.
It's been a slow process, because I have a hard time focusing on the online classes.
I'm going to try and focus more. I got some pointers on what to do in regards to the my chronic pain and mental issues. I'm going to try harder to work on it.
Just been stressed financially lately, but hoping things start to get a bit better.
Thank you by the way for your comments, you're always so kind. <3
@ImpudentIncognito
You are so welcome, and I wish you much success and happiness. We are here for you any time❤️
Hi Imp, thank you for sharing and for writing this poem to try and express to us how you are feeling. I can resonate with the feelings you've shared and I can understand how difficult it feels to be trying your best to heal but not feeling like the process will ever end. I understand how tired you must feel. It sounds like you are doing your best to take care of yourself, to heal and to make the best life for yourself, but healing can be such a slow and long process. You are strong for going through the healing process and for reaching out to share here - I hope you know that! Take care, and I wish you all the best for your healing.
@JadeR222 Thank you for your kind words, I greatly appreciate it. <3
