I don't like when people entrap me

jimmytonka October 2nd, 2020

I get a sense when people are trying to back me into a corner to entrap me like a wild animal or prey for them to devour me. It scares me.

This can happen by subtle questions that lead to debate and entrapment, and when you disengage the verbal abuse gets worse because you refuse to fight or argue.

This happened with my mom and dad growing up, they were bullies in our own house. I was in prison in my home it felt like. Growing up I attract adults who entrap me.

I feel scared when it happens and can sense when it's about to very intuitively. I got a tweet tonight that I realize was from a man I met last year who goes to my church and in that moment I sensed entrapment since he's done it before....

If I don't engage he will bully me into submission later.

Any advice?

RarelyCharlie October 2nd, 2020

@jimmytonka I'm not an expert, but it seems to me you are correct when you think of this like a predator-prey kind of situation. Yes, if you don't engage then he might see that as weakness and bully you later.

Unfortunately, if he's a predator, you do not have the power to change his nature. But a predator will always go after the easiest prey, and you might be able to find a way to make bullying you more difficult for him than bullying someone else. I know that's tough on the someone else, but that's how a predator-prey kind of situation works.

So no, you cannot just refuse to engage. But maybe you can refuse to engage on his terms. He wants to engage on Twitter? Maybe you can engage in a more public situation instead, and say, with witnesses, "I don't like him sending me tweets. I'm feeling bullied. Is he always like this?" Or something like that. Make engaging with you an unpleasant experience for him, and he might move on to easier prey.

If you'd ever like to chat about the situation, feel free to click on my profile picture and message me.

Charlie