Massively hurt

Hey all,

So half a year ago I ended a treatment with a therapist. During the therapy, though things started out quite well, at a certain point things started feeling more tense and awry. There were many signals and things that I found very confusing, such as comments the therapist made that I did not understand where they were coming from, but when I tried to adress these they got negated.

Now, 6 months after the treatment ended, I have since learned she had sent a letter to my GP to summarize the treatment. I on happenstance stumbled upon this letter when it was sent to my new therapist and I had the option to view it. The letter details many many indescrepancies with the therapy on how I experienced it. Literally, I was shocked just reading the things she wrote, to my GP but indirectly my new therapist already got sent this letter.

I am just completely baffled about this whole turn of events. During the therapy, things felt awful, repeatedly I remember writing in my diary about how I felt they were putting me down and how they thought of me as impaired or something in that direction. When I adressed it during treatment they never mentioned it, and indeed explicitly encouraged me for stating my view of things which go directly against what was written in the letter.

I am just completely befuddled. Has anyone ever experienced something like this? Even though the therapy was terrible and felt so bad, I at least held on to the notion that whatever she told me were things she stood behind. Now I find out it was some sort of double game all along and I feel just so very very hurt that the person I trusted and which I confided in how I felt about certain things and who encouraged me to believe in myself directly negated that by writing in the letter to my GP the exact opposite which she knew I found so very very hurtful.

Sorry for the wall of text, I am just at a loss. Worse still, this letter from the therapist got forwarded to a new therapist without my knowledge, and they in turn said I wasn't suited for therapy during the intake, and only now I understand because they read the same letter and must've thought I was crazy for telling the opposite that was in the letter (the letter also mentions I am in denial, which makes it even more difficult because when I say I disagree ppl can of course interpret that I am in denial).

It just hurts me very much. I don't understand why she would do this and the subsequent fallout has been such a mess that I am now only hoping to be able to pick up armed with this new info of having read this letter. Has anyone ever encountered something like this in therapy? I feel my trust is completely shattered and I feel so betrayed and hurt knowing that the person I thought encouraged me in actually never seemed to believe a word I said and was all the time just playing an act when she was in front of me.

(I was in treatment for EMDR for an event that happened so I thought this forum was suitable, as well as the fact that this whole thing seems to have borederling traumatized me in a new way).