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PTSD Poll/Question Results - When triggered/Anxious as a result of PTSD, are you able to accept Physical comfort from others?

User Profile: Rain45
Rain45 August 24th, 2017

PTSD Poll/Question Results - When triggered/Anxious as a result of PTSD, are you able to accept Physical comfort from others?

PTSD Poll/Question Results:

The results are now in for our latest PTSD Poll/question on 'When triggered and/or anxious as a result of your PTSD, are you able to tolerate physical comfort from others?' e.g: physical affection, hugs etc?
The Poll received a great response.smiley This was an anonymous poll and I would like to thank everyone who took part smiley

The results are as follows:

38.5% of those who took part said: Yes but I often DO NOT want physical affection when triggered and/or anxious

30.8% of those who took part said: Yes I often want physical comfort from others when triggered and/or anxious

23.1% of those who took part said: No, I avoid physical comfort from others when triggered and/or anxious

7.7% of those who took part said: No, I hate being touched/receiving physical comfort from others, it makes me worse

How people receive and experience touch is unique to each Trauma Survivor. The negative touch those who have suffered abuse have experienced, affects their perception of all touch, even touch that is designed to soothe or benefit. For survivors of Trauma, even well-intended touch can trigger unconscious interpretation rooted in past trauma, unrelated to the present circumstance. Whatever the traumatic experience was that the individual experienced, the impact can cause a whole host of issues for the Trauma Survivor including that of the ability to receive physical comfort from others, whether because of needing comfort when triggered, or just accepting comfort and closeness with others generally. For some Survivors of trauma they may well have that frightened child within them who wants to be helped, to feel safe and protected, and who is happy to accept hugs or comfort from people around them. But equally within that same body, there may be another part of the Survivor of Trauma who when triggered is agitated, hypervigilant, in fight mode, and wants no one close and no one offering comfort.

When a Surivor of Trauma is triggered, they are transported back to the original time of trauma, as though they are reliving and re-experiencing what they felt and went through then and do not have a firm footing in the here and now. This can provoke feelings of not being safe, not being able to trust, feeling terriflied, feeling the need to fight or flee, perhaps even freeze, as they would have done when their trauma occured. Survivors often believe deep down that no one can really be trusted, that intimacy is dangerous, and for them, a real loving attachment is an impossible dream. Many tell themselves they are flawed, not good enough and unworthy of love. Thoughts like these can wreak havoc in relationships throughout life, in relationships with friends, therapist, partners, and family.

When the trauma has occured in early childhood, relationships then were a source of overwhelming fear, or when absent, insecure or disorganized attachment left them feeling helpless and alone, the mind needs some way to cope. A child may latch onto thoughts like

Dont trust, its not safe!
Dont reach out, dont be a burden to anyone!
Dont dwell on how you feel, just move along!

These thoughts may have helped the individual when they were young, to cope when they hurt so badly every day and just needed to survive. But they do not help the emerging adult make sense of their inner world or learn how to grow and relate to others as they get older. Even if the survivor finds a safe people to have in their life later on, the self-limiting scripts stay with them. They cannot just easily toss them and start over. These life lessons are all they have (so far) to survive the best way they know how.

Many survivors of trauma are easily startled, reluctant to be touched (even lovingly), fearful and preoccupied with distressful memories and thoughts about the traumatic event especially if they are triggered and/or experience flashbacks. For some, touch, even in wanted physical intimacy, can trigger such symptoms as flashbacks, revulsion and fear. Some survivors have an opposite response and become numb, apathetic or under-responsive to intimacy and touch. Periods of dissociation or extreme detachment may occur. Even when a Survivor wants comfort, not only will they find it hard to ask for this, but fear and how they feel about themselves, may prevent them from asking for comfort that they may need.

It is always wise to ask first before offering comfort to a trauma Survivor and to offer this in a way that feels safe and okay for the individual themselves. For some Trauma Survivors when triggered, touch and comfort can actually be beneficial because it enables them to ground ot the here and now, but for others, it can be a source of a past memory they would much rather not have to re-experience.

Communication is also key in helping someone when they are being triggered or experiencing a flashback especially when it comes to offering physical comfort. It can be helpful for those who are supporting someone who is triggered to do the following:

Remind the trauma Survivor that he and she is safe

Orientate the survivor to the here and now (referencing the present date, location and other immediate sights and sounds).
Offering a glass of water, which can help stop a flashback surprisingly well. (It activates the salivary glands, which in turn stimulates the behaviour-regulating prefrontal cortex.)

Asking the Trauma Survivor what they need, what would help them to feel safe and always asking them first if they would like any form of physical comfort.

edited by dancingRainbow45 25/8/17 Spelling errors

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User Profile: Laura
Laura August 25th, 2017

this is cool. I love how you use the poll results to share a lesson, reflect, and learn as a community.

Smart and beautiful.

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1 reply
User Profile: Rain45
Rain45 OP August 25th, 2017

@Laura Thank you <3

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August 26th, 2017

I avoid all physical touch.

User Profile: Daydreamer47
Daydreamer47 April 3rd, 2018

@Rain45 Mostly no, but yes only if the person is a woman and someone I know well.