Physical Touch and Trauma
Hello lovelies! I hope you are all well <3
Today I bring you a post about how physical touch and trauma affect each other. Most of us trauma survivors have problems with being touched or being jumpy. That is a completely normal response and there is nothing wrong with not wanting to be touched! People may not understand why we reject the hug or jump when they touch our shoulder but they don’t have to understand it, they just have to respect it.
You have control over your body. You are allowed to reject hugs or whatever physical touch. It is your right!
I have included an article written by a survivor that describes maybe what you are feeling. You can find the article here
How do you feel about physical touch?
@Oceanwaves16 Some days it's worse than others. Some days I can't even stand the touch of my own skin. It took the longest time to just be ok with the idea of virtual hugs because - cringe - as stupid as that sounds
The article was really good - thank you for posting it :)
@mytwistedsoul
Thank you for responding! I am glad you enjoyed the article <3
Touch is something that takes a lot of time to be ok with again and that's ok. Everyone may not have issues with touch but for those of us that do it is something we encounter everyday and we are strong enough to get through anyways. I am so proud of you, I can't imagine the discomfort you feel when you cannot stand your own skin.
The virtual hug thing is not cringe at all! We stopped doing the hugs so often because of that reason or say for those who want one because we understand not everyone is ok with hugs.. even if it's through a screen. You aren't alone!
I hope this helped and you are an inspiration,
Ocean <3
@Oceanwaves16
At the age of five I witnessed my parents in an altercation. This event resulted in me witnessing my moms arm being fractured. From that moment forward I clung to my mother and was frightened by my father.
During my teenage years I distinctively felt uncomfortable with being touched by others. The thought of being touched makes my insides cringe.
I experienced my second trauma in my early twentys and not being touched was again an issue.
thank you for sharing!
Physical touch is extremely hard and to turn down physical touch is even worse :( I hope people respect your wishes <3
in general i am very open and accepting of physical touch. Except on my lower back.
the other day i had a weird episode where i just woke up and didn't want anyone near me or touching me at all.
Strings,
It just depends on your mind set! If you are frightened it may be a problem and otherwise you might be fine. Thank you for sharing as this might help others!
You aren’t alone,
Ocean
Thx for sharing, this is helpful. ABB💜
@amiableBlackberry92
I am glad you found this helpful <3
I actually don't like to be touched. My mother always thought 🤔 it was something she did. Truthfully, in the bigger picture 🖼️ of my life 🧬, my mother had a hand in my trauma as a child 🚸. Only a minor role in the story, somewhat. But I usually like hugs 🤗 after I get to know someone. & That's okay 👍. Per what my therapist tells me. I have likes & dislikes like other people do. It just takes me longer to accept hugs 🤗 and touching.
Lone star,
It is ok not to like hugs or touch! Some people just don’t hug! That’s ok. We support you <3
Thank you for sharing,
Ocean
I wish someone would've allowed me I could refuse touch as a child. I see parents now telling their young kids to give people hugs and kisses that they're not comfortable with (distant relatives or friends of their parents who they've never met). Being told to hug and receive physical "affection" from a scary and violating relative as a child played out in adult friendships and relationships until I could piece it all together (whole other rabbit hole of discovery there) Still not a fan of hugging or touch. Trigger response and lashing out when touched are real.
@DeeHopeful
Parents always don't look at it as they are violating their child and more to avoid an awkward rejection of a hug to someone. Sadly, that doesn't make the child feel any better.
Being triggered by touch is common and totally ok. You are allowed to be not ok with being touched or anything else. You have the right to say no.
Thank you for sharing <3
~Ocean
@Oceanwaves16 Thank you. There was more going on there than me not wanting to hug him which they missed. Forgiving what parents don't see/want to see is part of the journey. Thanks for your compassion. Wishing you a peaceful day :)
Good point, I never knew it was okay for me to say no to being touched if the touch wasn’t inappropriate, until my therapist told me this year that it’s okay if I don’t want to be touched and I am not bad person for telling someone No. Foreign concept to me.
How come I can’t see the post? The font is black on a black background? Thanks
If you are using a mobile device the font will be hard to read if the font was typed in black :)
I can usually handle touching if I'm expecting it but if Im not especially if I didn't know you were even there (usually people seeing me in the store) Ive been known to have entire meltdowns, my first instinct is usually protect myself no matter what till my brain processes that I'm ok and I'm safe, luckily it's usually quick enough that I haven't done anything I regret or full on swung on somebody but usually gives the other person quite the shock. I have swung at someone once though because they shook me awake ( thankfully half asleep me is a horrible aim) I feel bad but my brain just always assumes I'm in danger first
@Jovan43
I am very similar to you. I can handle touching most of the time but consent and alerting someone is coming is very important. Thank you for sharing ❤️
@Oceanwaves16
Thank you so much for sharing! You aren’t alone <3 we are here for you and you are so strong
