When / if you're mind goes there during sex... What do u do? Is there a known trick?
When your having sex and for whatever reason, it doesn't matter why, your mind goes to a similar type memory of being abused. It happens to me all the time, most times I can get past it , sometimes no way I can. Is there like known tricks or strategies for not letting that kill the moment and moving past it mentally without skipping a beat?
At times I have found simple distractions works in the moment. If you're too preoccupied it might slip out more often. At first I would have sex to rock music. It helps distract, or intensely looking into their eyes. Something to keep my mind on the person I am with. Are there certain triggers that stop you from clearing your mind? Sometimes not being in the same position or environment.
@EnchantedWillow67
Yeah it's definitely like a same position or doing something an abuser did to me, the weird thing is that the things that make my mind go there are the same things that I like and want her to do. Ugh frustrating,! Thanks for your help
Yes, that happens to me yo what i found really import is to hace a great comunication with your partner. And when you are getting a memory what works for me IS counting thing like moles and change the posittion when you get a flashback.
I have this happen too and it drives me crazy! I find that opening my eyes and looking at my partner and reminding myself who I am with and that I am loved and safe can help. It’s so hard. Sometimes when I can’t get past it, my husband takes it personally. He’s said before that he can’t believe that he reminds me of them. I’ve explained that triggers have nothing to do with who I am with. But it’s hard for him to understand. Which, honestly, just makes it that much harder. Thank you for posting your struggle. I’ve wanted more tips on how to work through my flashbacks when being intimate for a long time. I will definitely be following this thread!