Why is it hard to share my truma?
It has been 5 months since after my truma. I just feel powerless and anger that I want to call out the homophobe abuser who cause my truma but it feels like I get put back into feeling like I not only going back to that day but it leaves me open to judgements like "why didn't you?" Or "what made you think?" Like as much I can understand it would put me in a position of that... Idk I should comfort my abuser but it feels like I'm going to be the mad hatter one and no one will believe me... it feels painful and idk why my brain feels this way 😢
@Vivikun9
trauma is so hard to talk about no matter what type it is. I encourage you to seek therapy to help you process. you are brave and strong. recovery takes time my friend
@anxietywarrior23
Thank mew. Taking one step at a time is part of healing.
I felt that way about my r@pist. I only told my family and at the time I had no money for a lawyer. I sat in the lawer's office on antidepressants and felt too emotionally numb to say anything. I eventually told his mother 8 or so years later then confronted him on the internet to get closure. I have no closure. I'm still haunted by it. Mix that with Synesthesia and I relive it all the time. I have sympathy for you. Your abuser seems to be in a place of control over you. Do they respect your boundaries? Do they respect you? Do they nurture you in any way? If you said no to any of those questions I hope you can find a safe place to be away from them. If you don't have a safe place, then if I were you I would come up with an escape plan. Keep that plan a secret until you can execute it safely. I hope that helps.
@Mikitea68
First I want to say I'm sorry you had to go through that. I was in the same boat trying to find a lawyer in my case. I didn't have money to do so. I do have a safe space at home, threapy, here on 7cups, and some safe space with my friends. The part that makes me angry is how it was done online and while I feel like I lost my power and my abuser thinking "he a good guy doing God's work" I find it hard that anyone would believe him. I will say I will get power back of my narrative and they won't have control of me again and hope karma delivers.
*hugs*
@Vivikun9
so sorry what you have to go through but you are not alone in this and you dont have to go alone through it. As long as you stay proactive and dont give up, then you are one step closer to heal.
@SammiSweetheart30
Thank you. I am trying to find ways to be proactive and such. Like art has kept me going along with writing as well. Sometimes I'm scared to think that if I become successful, I feel like someone would bring up my trauma but I need to balance myself first before that happens