Before
Before I realized I was in denial I was happily floating through life. A life that was a lie. Denial is a beautiful place.
I've learned that I have no identity, it was stolen when I was 2. Recent traumatic events slapped me in the face and woke me to myself , to my denial . I am trying to find a true and real happy place. I know only I can make myself happy. But I have many challenges from all the different types of abuses that were inflicted onto me.
I ask myself is it possible for such a person as me with so much damage to be truly happy? Will I ever be able to do what other people do without fear. There's places I can't go ..and I avoid people. I sometimes long for the days of denial ....before.
ABB
@amiableBlackberry92
Yes I agree when we don't accept something it doesn't affect as much but healing isn't possible without acknowledging the abuse and pain you feel ❤
Even this is a sign of strength you know? Talking about things , acknowledging your feelings and seeking support
Only you can make yourself happy and you will in whatever ways you can, you don't have to do it on a single day rather take small steps and be as kind as you can be to yourself ❤
Offering a hug
@Optimisticempath
Thanks for your encouraging words. The hug is appreciated. I am trying with therapy just hoping for some joy somewhere along the journey.
ABB
@amiableBlackberry92
The least I can do for you!
it is nice to know you're seeking therapy and I too hope it helps you find joy and showers many good days over you, you deserve them
What's something that brings you joy always AB? Anything fun or relaxing you like to do?
@Optimisticempath
I do have a hobby I like but I think my adult childrens dogs bring joy to me the most right now. I considered a dog for myself but I can't care for one as of right now. I know it sounds pathetic but I can't handle the responsibility in my condition. I see them once a week or so. One is very special to me as he has a traumatic background - he's a rescue. We just clicked right away almost like we really understand each other no words needed. He's living his best life now because my adult child takes the best care of him and he knows he's loved unconditionally. Unconditional love is very hard to find.
ABB
@amiableBlackberry92
No it doesn't sound pathetic at all , pets can be a huge responsibility and it's thoughtful of you to acknowledge not being able to cater to them well at this time, that simply shows you care 😊
Furry friends are so comforting I'm glad he is living his best life now especially after what he went through, bless your adult children for giving him a safe home , and nice to hear you feel good around the dog, maybe you can continue spending time with him more?
Unconditional love is so hard to find I agree
@amiableBlackberry92 Yes, it is possible for you to be truly happy in life going forward. You are more than what happens to you. I believe that with enough support, and enough time, you can heal from this. Your identity cannot be taken from you; it is who you choose to be. From what I've seen in this forum, you've chosen to be a kind and caring friend to several people suffering similar pain. That is part of your identity.
Perhaps there will be things you can't do without fear that others can. Perhaps there will be place you can't go that others can. You don't have to do these things or go these places. There are so many more places to go or things to do as you heal and continue on your journey, and these are just as valid. You don't have to be like everyone else; you can make a positive difference in the world and find happiness just as you are.
This resource may be helpful to you: https://www.7cups.com/traumatic-experience-help/ Feel free to message me anytime if you want to talk more about this. I hope you find peace, meaning, and joy in your life.
Thank you @wonderfulSoul4237
Your encouraging words mean so much to me. I feel lucky to be here and lucky I found 7 cups for support. I'm grateful for the link you shared and your offer it's so much appreciated. I am finding my journey full of ups and downs. I'm definitely on a down and I turn to ppl here and always find some encouragement.
Best ABB
How are you doing? :)
Thx for checking in on me. I'm hanging in. Having some medical stuff treated. Been busy trying to get out of pain and healthy. The body keeps the score..
ABB
@amiableBlackberry92
Oh pain doesn't sound good 😕 good to know you're getting the treatment and trying to hang in there
I hope it gets better for you soon
