Does it Count? Victim of Sextortion
I remember so clearly swiping through Tinder, just looking for someone to talk to. I spot this really attractive guy, with similar interests to mine. I swipe right and we match. He starts a conversation within 5 minutes of our matching. He was so fun at first. He asks for my number
eventually, but I tell him that I don't give strangers
my number. So we agreed to message on kik. He adds my account. I don't remember what his name on Tinder was, but I know that it was different from his kik profile. Not only that, but his profile picture was black. That should have been the first flag not to trust this guy, but I did anyway. What harm could he do, after all? We were only talking. Then, he started to change. He became flirty to the point where I felt almost uncomfortable. He asked for nude photos of me on multiple occasions over and over until I gave in one day. After that he disappeared. Then, one day in February, he messaged me again, but I'd forgotten about him already so I had no clue who he was. The first thing he did was send me one of the pictures I'd sent him and threaten to send it to everyone I know unless I did what he said. I wanted to refuse, but how could I? He had contacts to everyone I know, plus he knows where I live. So I did what he wanted and I continued to send him photos and videos, each request made my self worth diminish more and more until I finally blocked him. I didn't hear from him again for a few weeks until now. I don't know what to do...
@Yannibeans
Hey, I'm so sorry to hear of this happening. I can understand how scary it can feel! Did you show your face in any of the pictures? If you didn't, then you're in a better position. Did he have any evidence of where you live or the people you know? It's one thing to say you have that information, but it's another to actually prove it!
Your best option is to go to the police if you're comfortable, as this is like revenge porn/blackmailing and he could be prosecuted for it. But this is why it's best not to send any pictures at all as it gives them something to blackmail with. You could've threatened contacting the police, which sometimes can stop them as some of them are simply lying about knowing your friends and family, just to blackmail for more pictures. If you threaten to take it to the next level, a very serious level, you gain control again and they usually back away. Just saying something like "the police will be knocking your door soon" will instil worry/fear/paranoia into them, even if they act like they're not bothered or don't believe you.
I have had someone who threatened me the same way, I didn't believe him as he couldn't possibly know anything about me and I blocked him and haven't had an issue. I can understand how scary it is but I thought that I wouldn't let him get any kind of control over me. It was a false threat, in the hopes of scaring me into sending more, which kind of defeats the point of it all. I didn't send a picture with my face in or anything explicit so I didn't care even if he put anywhere, no-one would know it was me and I wasn't showing much at all. This is why, if you didn't show your face or anything which could be identified by someone, you're in a better position if he did share those images elsewhere online, but I do hope you consider talking to the police so this guy can be stopped from making others feel like he's made you feel!
In the mean time, you can reverse image search your pictures to see if they're online. If you do unfortunately find them on a website, you can contact the website owner and request they remove it as it was illegally shared without your consent. If they refuse, you can also threaten to get the police involved with them for supporting an illegal practice.
@SilentSerenityy
Thank you so much for your advice! I don't think my face was in any of the pictures so I hope I'm safe there. I did threaten to go to the police, by that didn't a seem to phase him. He actually told me that going to the FBI would be more efficient so I'm still scared and confused about that.
@Yannibeans
Ah he sounds cocky but just saying you're contacting the police probably has struck a nerve with him. Honestly, a lot of these guys are lying about knowing any information about you, it's just a sleazy way of getting nudes from a girl for their own pleasure and they rarely bother to actually contact anyone you know. Your face wasn't in them so you're good IF he decides to share them elsewhere online - no-one will recognise you. Did he say where you lived exactly or show any evidence of knowing people you know?
@SilentSerenityy
He had access to my Facebook page and, even though I'm a very cautious person by nature and I put literally everything on private, he was able to see my location, my friends list, and he was able to find a page for the drumline that I'm in at school. I'm not sure f that's enough for me to believe him, but it was enough to scare me in the moment.
@Yannibeans
On Facebook, your location would literally show as just your city, nothing more, so he doesn't know exactly where you live. I think he's just trying to scare you, he's likely not going to bother going through all of your friends etc, he'll just try to find another victim if he can't get anything else from you. Also, if he did message anyone on your friends list, they would've contacted you by now but you also would then be able to access their profile page or a profile page that could easily be tracked by the police, so he might not want to take that risk.
If you're confident enough, informing the police, giving them the accounts/numbers you have, could be enough for them to track him down and get him arrested. He'd then realise that what he's doing is not harmless and is a criminal offence!
@SilentSerenityy
Thank you so much for your help! I'd originally planned to see if I could just ignore him to get rid of him, but that's hasn't worked yet,sadly. I'm so glad that you've helped me so much so I could see that I could take more drastic measures if necessary.
