I don

Im not sure if I should put a trigger warning on this, but I just need help or advice. Ive been having intrusive thoughts lately about sex. As in, I see random people and my mind makes visions of them sexually assaulting or trying to rape me. I dont know if thats trauma based. I tried talking to a friend about this, but he totally got the wrong idea. He thought I want to be raped for some reason? I am terrified of these thoughts, but they urge me to want to put myself on dating apps and other stuff to basically punish me.

I feel that it is trauma based because back when I was 14 I had my first boyfriend. He was extremely gross, always wanting to have sex and touch me and see me naked. He was 13 at the time of all this, but he was way bigger than me. He nearly raped me one day and ever since then Ive been terrified of sex. Ive still never done it. When I was in highschool I thought the only way someone could love or accept me was sexually, so I ruined friendships trying to get with my guy friends and it just made issues. But I dont know what to do for these thoughts. They bother me at work, and they are in my dreams. I dont want to be abused or raped, but my mind is telling me I need to be. Should I talk to a therapist about this? Or is there a way I can do something myself to ease the thoughts away? Im sorry if this was in the wrong area to be posted, I am still new to this app.