Struggling with intimacy as a result of trauma.
I am on the verge of breaking up with my partner as I just feel like a worthless burden. I was groomed by more than one person as a teenager, and while I've only been going to counseling within the last year for this, I'm still struggling a lot with the effects of what happened to me, the trauma of being sexualized as a teenager, and the pressure of staying in those friendship dynamics.
It has become very hard for me to be intimate with my partner, partly because so much of it - it is cuddling, mainly - was how I was groomed. They tell me the ways they'd like to be intimate with me despite not wanting to make me uncomfortable, but I just feel like I shut down. I'm scared if I engage in intimacy with her, I'll wind up hurting her like I was hurt. I just feel really uncomfortable and I've expressed it already, and they've taken it as me finding them unattractive despite my reassurances that this is a struggle with my trauma.
I'm not sure what to do.
@modestBike489
Hello, relationships are quite hard to contain after a traumatic event. Your reaction is normal. I would suggest talking about this with your partner. By which I mean, having a big conversation about your trauma and why you feel scared or uncomfortable. It might also be that your partner does not fully realize how much damage was done to you mentally. And please keep an eye on the way she treats you. Not acknowledging or knowing how to treat your S.O. trauma is a common thing. As much as your relationship can support you, it can drag you down or even cost more damage. If even after talking about it and going to a couple therapist does not improve, I think choosing your health and sanity over the other is a better choice. Hope you have good friends and a good recovery ❤️
@modestBike489 I dont have an answer, but I relate. I get easily jealous. I go through mood swings. I have spent time being promiscious and then times being bitter at everybody. I have a boyfriend now and i'm worried I'm going to wreck it. He does not know what has happened to me
Hi, I also find intimacy difficult after being groomed and sexually assaulted as a teenager. I find it very difficult to talk to my partner about it but when I finally did talk to him, it was much easier than I thought it was going to be and it did help because I know that I can say that I need to stop or slow down during intimacy without worrying about upsetting him because I’ve explained to him why I need to do this sometimes. I hope this helps
