Writing has been my catharsis as well. Till very recently, I used to be so ashamed of myself. I'd blame myself for everything that happened with me. I attempted suicide when I was 16 and it was quite gruesome. But that changed a lot of things. I'd say that was the end of being tortured physically. Prior to that, no one knew. I had always been too afraid and ashamed to tell anyone what was happening. So when the whole story came into public after my suicide attempt, it kind of helped. That was also the time when I was diagnosed with clinical depression. I've gone on to write a book on domestic abuse and early this year, I also published my whole story online- without being ashamed at all. I also joined a couple of support-groups for domestic abuse victims and it's been life-changing. I find it empowering to share my story with others, even though I'm a long way off from complete healing. But I always wonder if the soul ever heals? Sometimes I feel there's a part of me that still wants to die..
Cyn, have you used any online resources to help you or forums? I've been thinking about trying to find some more things like that recently.
I do look up for resources on the net. I found two sites very helpful. One was hiddenhurt.co.uk and the other was CORA support (can't remember the url right now). There are many resources listed on Psychcentral as well. I had seen this site for sexual assualt victims/survivors called aftersilence.org. You can check it out and see if you find it helpful :) I'll let you know if I find something else :) *hugs*
Thanks for these, Cyn, I'll take a look! You rock!
Also, not sure if you've ever seen Pandora's Aquarium? It's a forum which was helpful to me at one point ages ago that I might revisit!
No, I haven't. I'll have a look. Thanks, you're really a sweet girl :)
I definitely understand that feeling, and I was feeling that way today. Most days I'm okay, and can be happy and not think about it more than once or twice. Other days I feel like I might get crushed by the weight of it. I definitely still feel ashamed sometimes too, or just reluctant to have people know. For instance, I posted and deleted this AMA once before commiting to do it, because I wasn't sure I wanted to be this open about it on 7 cups.
No questions, just wanted to say that you're strong and wonderful ?
Thanks Fix, I love you <3
How old were you when this happened?
I was 18.
Randi You're very Brave! just wanted to say this only.
Thanks Sam! I appreciate it
Hey guys! So, first I just wanted to thank everyone who's contacted me and supporting me with becoming open about this on 7 cups. It isn't easy but it's worth it. Also, if anyone has any more questions about this, about my revictimization, or about sexual assault with a weapon, I'm still open to more questions :) Thank you all for your support.
It seems like I learn something new about each person each time I come here. I appreciate youropenness.
I agree! Thanks for reading!