What Do I Do?
TW: pedophilia, possible sexual harassment
When i was 11, my aunt's husband seemed really friendly and I didn't mind hanging out with him. One day he pulled me next to him, and even though I was uncomfortable I didn't say anything. He quite literally squished me next to him and carressed my thigh as he asked me about my private life and age. I didn't understand what was going on other than that I wanted to get out of there. My aunt was there but didn't do anything. I was only pulled away by my sister when she noticed and we didn't speak a word about it.
I haven't told anyone. I experienced pedophilic stares but was never actually touched. I brushed it off bc i wasnt sure it was pedophilic and i never actually said no but now I can't look at him without wanting to throw up.
I don't want to label it as sexual assault but I don't know what it is then. Is it sexual assault? Is it not? I still can't fully wrap my head around what happened years later. I just feel angry and hopeless.
Also, how do I tell my mom? She's gonna make me cover up more than she already does, I won't be allowed to visit my cousins, and I know she'll get mad because I've spent years without telling her.
I feel so afraid and alone and talking to my sister won't help because we have a rocky relationship. I can't keep hiding this because I always see him in family gatherings.
please remember im still a teen and still confused. i've barely given myself time to process this all.
@notjoanne
How long ago did this happen with your uncle? I can understand all the panic and mixed up thoughts. If you felt weird about it, then that is more than enough to be able to consider it as sexual harassment. Also, you didn't have to say no. At the age of 11, you're not able to give any consent for anything lewd.
@HopieRemi
thank you a lot for replying. it's been almost 4 years, i'm currently 15.
@notjoanne
You are welcome. I am sorry you have had to have that on you for such a long time and that you feel that you can't trust the people around you with it. I can understand being hesitant to come forward to your mom. What do you think you have the power to do?
@notjoanne. Any physical contact you feel uncomfortable about is not ok. I'm sorry you have to see this man at family events. If you think your mom will believe you you should probably tell her so she will understand you may want to skip family events. One way to approach it could be to refer to the me too movement as a beginning of a discussion. This is obviously distressing you a great deal, professional counseling might be something to consider. You should not have to deal with this alone and we are here for you too
@notjoanne Hello, I know this may be hard to hear but you might want to talk to your mother so then she knows that her family stuff if he's ever going to be there that you don't have to go because you don't want to face him after everything you've been through. And I know to talk to your mom or parents, in general, it can be hard to talk about certain things so maybe ask your mom just to sit down with you and tell her that the reason you've been keeping it from her because you're scared of what she's gonna think or say, and tell her that you don't need to cover up more he just needs to learn it keep it together! If you were under the age of 18 and he was 18 or older and he touched you in a sexual way it is sexual harassment! And you can't keep that from an adult like your mother or your older sister or somebody of the sorts. It is not healthy because that is something big that needs to be said and told to also it's not good for you mentally because it can mess you up so you need to at least tell somebody an adult specifically! And if you don't talk to your mother ask your mom to get a therapist or a counselor or someone to just talk with on here and they can just talk with you and help you through it and give you better advice!