What happens after denial
Hi, you can call me Kat. I've managed to put myself through college and graduate with a master's despite my depression. I'm striving to find that happiness and contentment with life that we all yearn for. After years of denying what happened, literally 5 years of denial, in the past year I finally admitted I was sexually assaulted... and 2 days ago after a severe PTSD episode I was finally admit to myself that I was raped. Now, after all of these years, I'm in mourning of the girl I used to be, I'm in mourning for what was taken from me, but at the same time I'm proud of the woman I have become. Despite wanting to stay in bed today and despite wanting to sob on my way to work I managed to get through my day and help others. I've been making strides with my mental health but this new realization, admitting to myself I was raped, is a whole new process of healing.
@Katzilla
Hey Kat, for me it's been 4 years. A few events in the past year have triggered a realization that I was being sexually abused in an intimate relationship; it was sort of a chipping away at the armour I'd put up to protect myself from it. It's been confusing having it come upt 4 years after I ended the relationship; I'm so full of rage and spend a lot of time crying. But I think this is part of the healing process, digging all of it up so I can move through it. I feel the mourning for my lost sense of self as well. It's fucking unfair. Trying to talk about it as much as I can on here and with any trusted friends has helped immensely. Trying to take ownership of the narrative so it doesn't control me
@Katzilla I often think that denial is essential in the healing process, even if it takes years, or decades, or a lifetime. Denial protects us when we are most vulnerable and then, when we are ready, the denial is stripped away, so that we can move and work through what happened.
I am sorry for everything that you have gone through and what you are going through now. Support is essential. Reach out to those you feel comfortable with for that support. This is also a great place for support because it's anonymous.
@Katzilla
Oh Kat! My name is Zuleika and that is amazing and also sad. I am happy you are doing better :)
