Years of pain
I’m new here and I just wanted to share some of my story. I’ve never told anyone. It started when I was six years old. A family friend that had lived with us my entire life told me I was at the age to do my part for the family. I was six. He told me fo get naked and let him take pictures of me. It went on for months which then led to touching, him making me touch him things like that. Then when I turned 9, he raped me for the first time. I will never forget that pain. I was bleeding and when he got finished, he slapped me in the face and told me if I ever bled on him again he would kill me. He raped me almost every night until I was 13. I got my first period and he told me I wasn’t good for anybody anymore. I felt so much shame and guilt for something I had no control of. He moved out a few days later. I felt as if I had done something wrong. To this day I have flashbacks during sex and I have never been able to actually enjoy sex. I have even hit people during flashbacks. I don’t know how much more I can take.
gosh I'm so sorry . this shouldn't have happened to anybody. trust me when i tell you it was never your fault.
@warmheartedPenny1949
Hey Penny,
Welcome to 7 cups! I'm so sorry to hear about your experience. This hsould have never happened to you. None of this is okay and this is never anyones fault. I understand how hard it was to endure this pain. WHat he did is so wrong on many levels. I understand why you wouldn't enjoy having sex now because of your prolonged trauma. You never did anything wrong. I know many victims blame the trauma o themselves even though it's not their fault I'm so proud of you for being able to share your story. i can also understand you being scared to tell someone. I'm sorry you had to go through this at such a young age. You didn't deserve that at all. No one ever does. i know the healing process takes a long time and it's okay to struggle with this. But part of the healing process is to share your story which you were so brave enough to do. I want you to know that you're not alone and that your feelings and emotions are valid and you're safe here in this community. If you ever need to talk 7 cups is here for that purpose. I hope you're feeling and doing better now! Please take care of yourself and your mental health it is very important. Stay safe out there in the big world!💗
It was not your fault at all what happened and it is not your fault that you have this trauma and flashbacks. What he did to you was illegal and very sick and wrong.
You are very strong for having endured that and now you are carrying a lot from it. I believe in you and your strength. Keep going and there are resources for that sort of trauma, others who have gone through similar situations, people who can help guide you through it and help reclaim those parts of yourself. You deserve to be loved and respected always.
