assault
friendlyShade2009
April 23rd, 2025
I'm having a tough time right now because I acted like I did not care after getting assaulted I bottled it all up and acted fine when I'm not I have not cried I front of anyone I only cry at night I noticed the little things after it happed I am scared of grown men now I hate my boobes I want to get them cut off I hate going anywhere even to the store I don't like being hugged by men or touched I cry if they do I'm only 16 and i feel like I'm dying in side and no one is seeing it
Aayla
April 23rd, 2025
@friendlyShade2009 what happened and what you're going through is not your fault, and it's not fair that you have the pay the price of this burden. Ruminating alone can worsen the irrational negative feelings towards yourself. Because, trust me, there's nothing wrong in you, nothing shameful and nothing "dirty". Your value as a person is the same it has always been, it can never be changed by what someone else decides to do to you against your will. The blame is entirely of your assaulter.
The things you're going through are absolutely a normal reaction, you're not alone in this. Too many women and girls have gone through the exact same after SA, which means that you are not the problem, the act itself is.
But knowing one thing and truly feeling it deep down are two different things. I know it will take time to internalize all of this and truly believe it, even more time to learn how to deal with all your physical and emotional reactions. But it's possible, never forget that it can and it will happen. And if you remember this, you've already made your first step.
Of course, you don't have to do this alone. Don't force yourself to do anything you're not ready for, but if you need support, remember it's your right to look for it and you don't have to feel ashamed of it. Seeking support doesn't make you weak. Be it professional counselling or simply talking about it with a friend, remember that help can come in many forms. You can also try anonymous help hotlines if you don't want to expose yourself too much.
Whatever you do, you're not alone. I wish you all the best.