struggling with seeing my abuser eveeyday
Hi, I was sexually assaulted by my best friend 4 months ago, first at a party and the second time at a friend’s house in front of my friends. Ever since it happened, i’ve been so anxious and on the verge of breakdowns and panic attacks. My friends have no idea how to help me and i feel like i have no support by my side at all and that makes me deal with my thoughts and flashbacks alone, i hesitate to tell my friends whenever i feel panicking or like melting down because i know they will not have a good reaction toward it and will either tell me to forget or not think about it. I see my abuser everyday at school, i avoid him as much as i can, he is one of the popular social people and it breaks my heart knowing that everyone thinks he is so perfect and a good person when he traumatized me, it also makes me feel like no one will believe my story and take his side. It’s all i ever think about now, and it’s so overwhelming and getting hard to keep going on, concentrate on my classes and heal from what happened to me when the reminder is always in my face. I don’t know what to do anymore and i cant talk to a therapist or a trusted guardian for help.
@h44rt
is there a reason you feel you cannot talk to a trusted adult person ... if in school are there counselors or a trysted teacher?
it will be hard to work through all the feelings of seeing him over and over without some support and what type of "friends" would not speak up if the second time it happened in Front of them ....
maybe you need a better set of friends ...... that is s wall many abusers use they are popular and they seem charming and no one will believe their victims and you are probably NOT the only one....
hi, thank you for replying to me. The counselors on my school often don’t take things seriously, their solution to everything is therapy which definitely would help me but i would still not feel safe in the school knowing that my abuser is still walking around campus. With my friends, they often say that they don’t believe that he (abuser) could do something like that and in my school there have not been a lot of SA complaints, i’d like to assume that’s why. I’m really in a situation where i feel alone in all this and none of the reactions i’ve been getting are positive or encouraging me to seek out for help and report him without there being reassurance that everything will work out for me.
@h44rt
I understand as this is a situation that is all over the place .... school people not wanting to take anything serious because then it reflects on them IF they handled the situation right........... sad to say some may sacrifice professionalism for the sake of do not make waves.......
This is everywhere my dear school/ workplaces etc...... while it is of NO comfort to you .... unless you speak up boldly for yourself no one else will .........
it is a lonely battle when people play "oh i do not think so and so would do this or that" ......... i asked in response do you think in other lets say famous situations that were proven do you think their peers or friends thought " oh yeah i totally see it.... knew it all along " NO is the answer.
NO no one wants to admit a person they are friends with or believe in could do something bad cause it reflects on their ability to judge character .........or upsets their social circle ....
It is a horrible lesson to learn at a young age that people Believe you......when it does not rock the boat.
@h44rt hey I'm sorry for what u r going through. Talking with someone who is mature about your issue is very much important. Becoz as other said it may happen again and risk is still there. So better check if you can talk about it anyone be it therapist or your principal or your friend. You alone facing it only builds up the stress even more. And feel free to reach out to good listeners here just to make sure the stress is not piling up inside