Hello!
Hi, I think I’m falling in love with a coworker… We met at the company we both work for, and after one of our shifts, we went for coffee and there was chemistry between us. He always greets me affectionately and hugs me, but now he has a girlfriend, who also works with us. She doesn’t really like me, and he has even argued with her because of me when we work together. I don’t know what to do. I feel like he still likes me, and I like him too.
And he’s told me that his relationship is toxic, and I don’t know… I know I probably shouldn’t like him because he has a girlfriend, but what am I supposed to do????
@urfavgoddess
I'm sorry you are caught in the middie like this.
If he thinks his relationship is toxic then he should be doing something about it and not staying it, and leading his gf on.
I would advise caution on this as you will only end up looking like the bad guy.
If it's meant to be, it should happen organically and not when he's in a relationship 🩷
@urfavgoddess This is an extremely difficult situation to be in. This is the very reason why mixing personal life/feelings in the workplace does not mix. It does more damage then good. I believe the fact that you know you shouldn't like him because he has a gf means you know it's wrong. What he's doing is wrong and is definitely considered cheating. Whether his current relationship with his gf is toxic or not doesn't matter. They are still together. Anyone who truly feels they are in a toxic relationship should be able to exit it at any time if it's truly what they wish. Between how affectionate he is with you, your feelings for him, their toxic relationship, her dislike for you... all that equals a recipe for disaster and the workplace just isn't the place for this. I know you expressed having feelings for him, but please be careful. You deserve someone who can be with you freely and reciprocate the same feelings without being involved in drama. I hope everything works out the way it's meant to be. Good luck.
Men and their lies. Girl please. If he liked you at the first place why did he choose to date any other women? He just wants to keep you around. You must have some qualities that his girlfriend doesn't have and so you fulfil it. Kindly leave. Before you destroy your life because of him and date someone better who is sure of you. Don't waste your life.
Thank you so much for replying. He has taken me home quite a few times, and he messages me on *** and even likes my posts. Sometimes when he’s on the phone with his girlfriend, he asks me to say hi to her. He also tells me that she gets upset when we work together, and when he goes to work with me, he tells her that he’s really happy to be working with me.
It just feels a little unusual to me. And then, when she and I work alone without him, she constantly talks about how amazing he is and how he gives her everything she wants.
Every time I try to distance myself from him, he keeps insisting and doing things that make me stay in love with him. And when I try to put myself in his girlfriend’s place, I feel even more confused. I don’t know… whenever I try to be nice to her, she’s nice to me too. She even asks me to hang out because we have a mutual friend, and she sends me friend requests on all my social media. And he’s always looking at me at work, and I don’t know… I’ve never told her that I went out with him or anything. But she only talks about him. She tells me how they met, that he has already met her family, and things like that. She even tells me that I’m beautiful and stuff. I just don’t understand it. I keep trying to distance myself from him, but every time I do, he keeps insisting and finding ways to get closer to me.
I understand how you feel. Falling in love is beautiful, but only with the right person.I know it’s hard to control your feelings. But this situation can hurt you, both emotionally and at work. Try to create some distance as soon as possible, even though it’s difficult. And most importantly, don’t make excuses for him. If he truly loved you, he wouldn’t leave you feeling this confused.
I really hope you find someone who deserves you and who will be a beautiful blessing in your life.💚
Confrontation. Do not let your thoughts eat you up. Delaying the inevitable sucks and I know it