Hi y’all
I’m just not even sure this will work either. No one ever knows what to say to me. I’m a 48 year old lady who was abused as a little girl. Mama was a narcissist, daddy was passive, big brother a predator. The golden boy. These are issues I’ve processed and mostly learned to live with.
I had a little girl, and my husband left at 23. I got 3 jobs and. a journalism degree with my parents help.
It saved me a lot in childcare and they adored her. She was my everything. I stayed alive for her. I didn’t realize what was going on while I was at work.
While my brother wasn’t allowed around her (they let him anyway), I thought I was a vigilant if tired parent. Every moment I was gone, it wasn’t him harming her. It was my mother. “Oh sweetie, your ma tries so hard bless her heart. She just can’t give you the things you need. She is so ill in her brain “. That was the narrative I was unaware of for years.
She left home ten years ago. She is grown now. She tells people I beat and tortured her as a child. While I wasn’t even close to perfect, I was a good mother. And I never ever abused my daughter. She knows this and has apologized but keeps it going.
I haven’t seen her in years now. The last time I called her my brother answered her phone. My father died and they didn’t call me or tell me anything. I found his grave and I go there and cry daily.
Everyone abandoned me 6 years ago when I finally went no contact with mom and brother. Cousins, extended and immediate family. Everyone.
I can’t go on like this much longer. No one alive loves me anymore. I am physically breaking down.
if someone out there understands, I’m begging for a hand to hold.
@Thegreypuffin
Hey, I'm really sorry to hear about everything you've been through. It sounds like you've faced some truly awful experiences, and it's heartbreaking that the people who should have been there for you let you down.
I wish I could physically hold your hand right now, but please know that I'm here for you as a friend. I may not have all the answers, but I can offer a listening ear and support. It takes incredible strength to keep going despite all the pain and abandonment you've faced. Your resilience is truly remarkable.
During this tough time, it's important to prioritize your own well-being. I don't want to put any pressure on you but reaching out to professionals like therapists or counselors who can provide guidance and support to help you process your emotions and work through the trauma you've experienced can be beneficial.
Healing and rebuilding will take time, but you are not defined by the actions of others. Hold on to the strength that has carried you this far. You are not alone, and there are people who care about you, even if they may not be in your life right now.
I understand you can talk to me
@Thegreypuffin I am terribly sorry to hear all you've been through. I can only imagine how hard it must have been for you to live through it, but you're here and more strength and power to you for cutting off from your toxic family. I know we are but strangers, but I offer my hand too. You're not alone. There is good in this world and good people. Don't lose hope. You are loved. You are worthy. You matter. People have already given some good advice above. But feel free to reach out if you just need a listening ear or so. I am learning the same right now. I don't know how to message you here as I am still not familiar with everything on the site.
Sending love and prayers.
Grey Puffin… I’m so sorry your biological family didn’t and hasn’t shown up for you in the ways you deserve… you deserved better… I am currently alienated from my family as well for similar reasons… it really is such a lonely place… and scary, because the world and everyone around you feels untrustworthy… but it’s not true. And you are not alone. ❤️ don’t give up hope. ❤️ have you been to therapy? I keep thinking I’m done, only to go back in when some new pain surfaces. ❤️ don’t be afraid or keep yourself from the resources you need. Your family may not have cared for you the way you deserve, but you can care for yourself the way you deserve now. ❤️ you are amazing and have overcome huge obstacles. The world needs your strength and resilience.
