Lost

You want to live like a parasite - that's why when you are presented with the fact "I do not accomplished anything, I'm almost 30 years old.", you choose the interpretation "that means I am a failure" instead of the interpretation "that means I need to work more harder by leaving the past behind".

What's more, when you stop being able to justify the former interpretation, you create another interpretation, which is "I feel old and lots of time went by". This is a much stronger feeling, and it lets you justify a much greater level of inaction.

Again, these are all free choices - you don't have a college degree, but you chose the interpretation "this means I don't have enough qualification", instead of the interpretation "this means I must be patient until I become graduated".

You feel sad and like you're going nowhere, you choose the interpretation "this means I should be better " instead of "this means I must gain my independence irrespective of how menial the work is".

You choose to interpret the fact that you don't have a degree or a accomplishment already as a sign you should simply consider yourself to have "lost the race" and give up - an equally valid interpretation would be "I must therefore get a accomplished job".

You have the life you want right now. You've specifically chosen interpretations of the facts that get you out of difficulty and permit you to live at your current situation as something between a layabout and a medical emergency. There is a lot about this state of affairs you like, even if it doesn't suit you to admit it - you have built a life defined by the safety you value.

But if that is no longer satisfying to you, then start choosing other interpretations of the facts. If you're starting to think that safety isn't all it's cracked up to be, and that it's actually a path to misery for a person in their late 20's, well then rethink the value you assign to "safety".

You were always in control. You've built a life you wanted - if you no longer want it, take the same faculty that let you design the "parasite" you and design some other you. There's every reason to suspect you'll be equally successful.

@SpiderMan226 hey I'm sorry you're feeling this way. I've felt the same many times as I'm in my 30s and not as accomplished as I dreamt of being.

Anyway all isn't lost. You can still do a lot. Take life as a learning process because that's what it is. Fight back with more focus, more hard work and above all enjoyment in what you do. I hope this helps a little.

@SpiderMan226

Nobody can really accomplish nothing, even if it feels that way. If you are struggling with work and college, then that means you are putting effort into them. You have also survived nearly 3 decades. These sounds simple, but they are all accomplishments.

Do you have friendships? Relationships? Hobbies? All of those are successes in life. Waking up and surviving the day can be a success.

I am around the same age and have similar doubts about myself, so maybe my experiences can be helpful. We spend so much time and effort in preparation for our adult lives. And now that we have arrived, we are unsure what to do next, and wonder if the preparation was worth it. Does that sound familiar?

We set our own standards for success and failure. Maybe you haven't saved the world or realized all of your childhood dreams (unless you are actually Spider-Man, in which case you have saved the world several times). But neither have I, and neither have most people. That does not mean we have accomplished nothing.

Try basic steps for now. What do you want to do that you are not doing? If you are unsure at the moment, that is okay, you have the rest of your life to figure it out.

Also, don't be afraid or ashamed to seek friends or resources for help. If there is something specific you want to achieve, what would you need to do to get there?